incogknito

Spaghettini with Bacon and Basil - KitchenDaily

2010-05-20T07:04:00.000-05:00

Spaghettini with Bacon and Basil - KitchenDaily

I'm thinking this is an easy pasta dish that I should be making! Sounds delicious, right?

2010-03-28T08:34:00.006-05:00

Well, many things have been developing in my life in the past month that have prevented me from writing on my blog. In fact, my brain has been completely consumed by thoughts of changes. If you know me at all then you know I hate change. Even when I initiate the change myself I hate change. But so many things have been going on it's difficult not to accept it. The good news is that my boyfriend and I will be moving to a new apartment. The above pictures show how wonderful it is. I'm pretty sure the new place has room on the kitchen counters for me to be able to keep my Kitchen Aid Mixer out all the time. Also, I can start vacuuming again because this place has carpet. But the best thing about this move is that I will have a dishwasher again. AWESOME! So, until after I move you won't hear from me again. Of course, I know you aren't exactly waiting breathlessly as I haven't updated this regularly anyway.

The Best Things In Life

2010-03-01T10:06:00.003-05:00

This...

Becomes this!

This is by far the coolest bowl ever. I mean, I can have a grilled cheese sandwich sit on top of this little lid and devour whatever soup I choose with one hand. I love it! If you're interested on what is actually on the lid it's some crackers with peanut butter (Jif) and butter (Fleischmann's). I got this bowl at Ikea several years ago on a trip with two very good friends. If only they had some more...I guess that means I have to make a trip out there some time to investigate... ;)

Saint Valentine's Day

2010-02-12T20:56:00.003-05:00

I have to admit that I have always felt guilty for wanting to celebrate and enjoy Valentine's Day. In my last relationship, the other person did not care to celebrate Valentine's Day and so we did not. The day has come and gone for me for over 10 years and I have not had the pleasure of truly celebrating this day in all its romantic glory. You know, I don't think of it as a time where you have to go buy a gift and be extravagant, but more a time to tell the person in your life that, while you appreciate them every day, you can make them feel extra special this day. So the good news is that I will actually be celebrating V-day on the 16th by going out to dinner. I think that will be most delightful indeed. I know that this day has been completely commercialized, but I tend to block societal norms out. I don't always realize how publicized these things have become until people start complaining about them. Plus, I've felt guilty for the last 8 years because I was made to believe that I shouldn't even want to celebrate it. Now, I'm going to celebrate by eating. None of this dainty crap for me! I hope everyone celebrates in their own way with their loved ones. Enjoy!

O-H-I-O

2010-02-10T11:19:00.021-05:00

I am so grateful for the vacation I just had. I haven't been out of New England (well, Maine and New Hampshire really) since July. Let me tell you that it's a bit of a strain to not enjoy anything at all. I mean, really my mental stability was depending on it.

Some highlights of my trip:

1. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time and we had a blast.
2. We found a new love in a board game called "Last Word". This is recommended if all participants can stay on track and scream words that correspond with the current letter in play. Example, the word "rice" does not begin with the letter "n".
3. Cash Cab is my new favorite show. I think I'm going to have to go to New York City for that alone.
4. Ohio got snow.

Maine did not.
5. The Buckeye stadium is AWESOME. I'm not a huge football fan, but get a behind the scenes look at "The Shoe" was wicked cool.

6. I played the license plate game and go 28 states out of 50. I also got 3 Canadian plates.
7. I got a little gift from my super awesome librarian friend and I promptly used it today! *Edit* I couldn't get my little video to post, but I got a really cool teapot that sounds like a train whistle when it's ready. Woohoo!

Method

2010-01-20T10:14:00.003-05:00

Have I told anyone about my addiction for Method cleaning products? Seriously, I love this company. I know there are probably other companies out there that are greener and clean better, but I love this company. They are always trying to better their packaging and their solutions are made from vegetable based formulas. They smell fresh and I like how they work. I think the other thing that I like about them is that while they are a large company, they take the time to answer personal emails without using an automated response. I'm hoping that they will eventually make interior car cleaning products that won't hurt the dash or vinyl parts of my car. For now, I'm happy with their latest move towards smaller packaging for their laundry detergent and making it more user friendly.

I love this glass cleaner they have. That's just a little taste of the kind of weather we're currently getting in Maine (the snow build up on the window).
This right here is the difference in bottle sizes of laundry detergent. I currently have some Arm and Hammer (under much duress), but I had to get the new bottle. I love how it pumps and how easy it is to hold. Unfortunately, it's only for 25 loads and I haven't found the 50 load bottle on the market yet. Until then, I'll use this one for my clothes washing instead of the Arm&Hammer. Of course, my other half will continue using that stuff out of preference. Thank goodness I'm the one who does the shopping! :)

2010-01-12T18:35:00.003-05:00

So it's been five days since I posted. I've been so consumed with worrying about work that I haven't focused on much else. Thankfully, some of my worries have fallen away, but I always seem to replace them with new worries. I have many anxieties and I wish more than anything that I could let things go much better than I do. I would venture to say that I've "toughened up", as I was once told to do, which has helped me in dealing with difficult situations. However, I'm a highly sensitive person and I don't know how much more of this "toughening up" that I can handle. It's a daily task for me to try and grow in this area in order to perform my job better and I find it frustrating. Because I am some what sleep deprived right now, my mind is more at ease to wonder and think about these kinds of struggles. You remember how I was talking about writing in my journal? Well, I really want to write in there, but I've been keeping myself from doing that to keep from tainting it with evil things. I guess the point of my journal is to let my thoughts flow, but not to fill it with anger. I don't ever want to look back and see that part of it. I could always get another journal to purge my bad thoughts, but that would stress me out knowing that I have yet another journal to tend to. If all two of you don't mind listening to me working through my anxieties then this may be the place that I vent. Let me know what you think.

Post it...or Else!

2010-01-07T10:22:00.002-05:00

I was hoping to post almost every other day over the course of 2009, but alas, that did not happen. During the summer I feel like I was more of a posting fiend than my autumn days. In fact, in looking back at 2009, I posted 49 times which was almost once a week. It sounds kind of minimal, but it was more than years prior. The feeling of posting, whether it's something mundane or monumental, left me feeling very satisfied in one aspect of my life. Okay, maybe it fulfilled several voids in my life. It gives me the opportunity to express some thoughts without self-censorship, allows me to write, and makes me feel like I've completed at least one thing a day. All of those aspects of this blog are rather satisfying and I miss that I didn't do that very much over the holiday season.

I have to reiterate how relieved I am that the holidays are over as I did not enjoy them at all. The past few years have been rather difficult as far as holidays go and I refuse to allow depression, annoyances, and work bring me down again. I definitely felt stilted as far as my holiday spirit goes. I had plans of sending wonderful gifts to people and I even wanted to send multiple Christmas cards. However, I did not achieve much of that. I don't like that feeling.

If you recall, over the summer I discovered a book that got me very motivated and more organized in many aspects of my life. Particularly, it was keeping me motivated toclean on a regular basis. I have cracked that book out again because I truly found it very fulfilling and satisfying. I will be giving you more reports on what I'm doing with that as the month goes along. For now, I'll sign off since I should motivate myself to to do the things I've been meaning to do around here.

Resolve my Resolutions

2010-01-02T09:05:00.003-05:00

So, I have been inspired to put some "resolutions" on here by a very dear friend. I too, have resolve so posting my resolutions seems rather redundant, but I will post some things that I'm always thinking about. I'm not going to declare anything because every year I try to declare something and then I don't achieve my declarations. I've written them down and they do not come to fruition by my own fault. This year, I intend to only sort of put them down on paper (or the internet as the case may be) so I can inspire myself.
Last summer I did a ton more journaling and it was very satisfying. I have a special and beautiful spiral bound journal that I like pasting things in and writing in when I get the chance. Since I've been promoted I have not been inspired to write in it and I refuse to put negative, work-related topics inside of it in fear of desecrating it. But I resolve to begin that again as the busy season has settled down and I can look to myself again. I would like to go back to actually grocery shopping again and planning meals. How minute is that? I truly just want to have a normal life and it has been difficult over the past year to achieve that for myself. Many things have come easier to me thanks to my hard work, but at the same time everything has been an adjustment in some way. So, for now, those might be two things that I would really like to do. The third, as a side note, might be Etsy. I know, I've said it before, but that's why this is a side note. I might have another post later today regarding that aspect though. I definitely want your thoughts on it, too. Thanks for listening!

2009-12-29T21:48:00.003-05:00

Occasionally I like to make myself breakfast. When I do, I like to enjoy some eggs and some kind of complimentary breakfast food. Thanks to a new microwavable dish that I got for Christmas, I can now have eggs in two minutes!!! Of course, if I set everything up at night I can enjoy a hot cup of joe with that, too. I'm so excited about my new egg container that I've already used it and plan on using it again to enjoy food during my long drive to work.

Have some H.P. love!

2009-12-25T17:09:00.002-05:00

So this is what a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince DVD release party looks like with two people present. That's all that was invited. For the record, that's butter beer in those cups. I'll even give you the recipe for them. First, pour some butterscotch schnapps into a glass (whatever suits your fancy, but the more the better). Next, add some cream soda (get the best because it'll make a difference). Then, enjoy!

I did get to watch this several weeks ago when it was released, so that was definitely a high point amongst my holiday season. Hopefully, if you haven't even seen it yet you'll get your butt in gear and rent it, buy it, or Netflix it! Happy Holidays.

Deck the halls

2009-12-15T09:19:00.002-05:00

I'm happy to report that I finally have some decorations up in my apartment. The boyfriend decorated our living room and it's rather cute. I'll be putting more decorations out tonight to congest the whole area with Holiday awesomeness (that's the official term for it, just in case you're wondering).

Also, if you don't follow me on Facebook (which I'm sure you do because you ALL think I'm fabulous. All two of my readers), I lost a friend to a drunk driver the other day. John Hipp was a my boss/friend in college. He graduated from my college with a degree in communications and he was exactly four years older than me as we shared a birthday. It's not like he and I were extremely close after I graduated college, but it still took me by surprise and I got choked up over his passing. Losing a someone in your life that has touched you in some way makes you thankful for the people you do have. Maybe this brings me back to my whining about not being able to enjoy the holidays with friends and family, but this is precisely why. Am I stopping myself from enjoying them? I want so desperately to make memories with everyone and I feel like I'm a far cry away from that. Regardless, I miss my friend and I can't believe that he's gone.

Aside from that. Black ice sucks. I feel down getting out of my car at work yesterday morning. Talk about a wake up call!! My shoulder is a bit sore today because I tried to catch myself by landing on the palm of my hand. I didn't even get up right away because I was a bit stunned and while I was still on the ground, I could see the whole parking lot was iced over. If I had a camera I would have taken a picture of that. If it hadn't been extremely dangerous, it was a site to behold.

My friend Kristine reminds me often that people just want to have pieces of me posted on here and I find that really encouraging. I mean, that's what I'm looking for when I read her blog or any of my friends blogs so I have to remember that for myself. I don't need a purpose to post, just a post. Maybe. Okay, I have to admit I like having a purpose. For me, not having a specific post in mind is like driving around in a car with no destination. I DO NOT enjoy it. But I suppose writing without a purpose isn't exactly the same. Moving onward! :D

Thanks for stopping by!

The Bright Side of the Dark Side

2009-12-12T11:30:00.000-05:00

So, I often start posts without actually posting them. They start off as good ideas, but I either can't finish them or I don't feel that I'm conveying my posts the way that I imagine them. It's like I want to hone in and perfect it and if I can't devote a lot of time to it then I cannot finish it. But because this year has been all about me shedding my past and embracing my present, I will now post the beginnings of my posts for you to ponder. Maybe I'll still pick them up and finish them, but for now I'll just leave them as thoughts.

1. Blog title: The Bright Side of the Dark Side

"I was watching Edward Scissorhands the other day and I was reflecting on how Tim Burton is able to draw the bright side out of his stories."

*I wanted to talk more about how I love Tim Burton movies and his style of writing and cinema. They are so strange yet so relatable. I know they aren't for everybody but they tend to have a strong cult following. Love 'em.

2. Blog title: Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. ~P.J. O'Rourke

"I am obsessed with books right now. Well, I'm always a bit obsessed with them. I have three bookshelves full of them and another bookshelf in the wings to try to fill."

*I like to look at book covers, pictures, find things in them that inspire me or read romance novel trash. Who knows where this was going except that I had to get yet another bookshelf to fill with books.

3. Blog title: (no title for this one)

This one drives me nuts because I've been trying to find another image that I can't find as a comparison for Shannon Doherty. I'm pretty sure that she looks like a Gelfling from The Dark Crystal. Check out that movie and tell me you don't see the similarities.

4. Blog title: Etsy Favorites

"One thing that I do absolutely every day is check Etsy. I think that I have to look at it or I'll go blind...or deaf...or stupid. I don't know what will happen, but I have to see it. There are so many inspiring products and people on that website that I feel like it satisfies my daily does of "craft". I keep thinking how much some of these items on here inspire me and I want to share some of my favorites with you just so you get an idea what I enjoy viewing on a regular basis.

Keep in mind when you're viewing these that some of these listings may have expired, but you should still be able to view it.

Sterling silver leaf ring
Five Pointed Crown Bag ZTA's understand why this is so fabulous!
Green felt garland (I really want to make this for the holidays as a reusable garland and something that's a little kitschy.
Bangle bracelets (I don't wear much jewelry or accessorize very well, but I'd like to wear something original

*enough said for this one.

5. Blog title: Vermonter Weekend

"Thank goodness New England has finally had some great weather! I had the opportunity to have a weekend in Vermont and I am thankful for the fabulous weather. I enjoyed the new Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, my mother's 60th birthday, and a baby shower for a sort of cousin. "

*I had pictures ready and fun stuff for this one, but it was just too late to post it.

6. Blog title: Time

"It struck me tonight that I avoid books and movies with the word "time" in the title. I was reading an article on Etsy when I realized that I have avoided certain books because of the name of the series. I can't bring myself to read The Time Traveler's Wife, The Wheel of Time, A Wrinkle in Time, or The Time Machine. I can't watch the movie "Time Bandits" either. I'm sure these are all fabulous, but I have a time avoidance. Maybe it stems from always having to conform to some form of time adherence. What say you? Throw that clock out the window when you can. When I was in high school I was a member of Christ United Methodist Church. I attended this retreat that lasted for three days and you were not allowed to wear a watch for three days. In fact, nobody was allowed to wear one, nor were there any clocks any where. Because we focus on time so much, it was scary, but liberating as well to not have those restraint on our minds. Try it some time and see how well you do. You won't forget the experience."

So, you can start with all of these. I have more, but it will be more blog confetti if I keep going. Enjoy your day off. You lucky bastards.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-27T09:25:00.003-05:00

So, I actually had a rather low-key Thanksgiving day so I am definitely thankful for that. I actually have a living room now and I've lived in this apartment for over a year now. Woohoo!

My wonderful boyfriend got us a futon since no regular piece of furniture fits through my apartment doors. There's nothing spectacular about the set up of the room, but it's now multi-purposed. I have to pull out the dining room table when I want to have a regular meal. At least now I don't have my television in my bedroom which I realllllllllly love. I hated that. It's not relaxing in any way.
Enjoy!

So blue...

2009-11-19T14:06:00.003-05:00

Everything about these pictures reminds me of fall. Of course, it's already come and gone for Maine and Thanksgiving hasn't even happened yet. All the leaves have dropped off the trees and now we're left with the barren branches and the wind. Incidentally, all this cold weather reminds me that I can start enjoying my knitting again (not that I have to have the fall to enjoy it), but I now have a fabulous new sticker to show my knitting loyalties. Thanks to my friend I can now drive around and wow others with my knitting pride.
Incidentally, the name of my post has nothing to do with fall colors. It only reflects how I'm feeling with the upcoming holidays. With so much emphasis put on buying for the holidays and me working in retail, I miss the times I used to enjoy with my family and friends at this time of year. While I have been promoted at my job, I would still like to entertain the idea of trying something outside of retail to have my life back. I saw a posting for this job and I swear that everything about the description of this company and the job requirements are me to a "T"! I started reading the company website yesterday and it meets all my credentials for the ideal company to work for. This company has even won awards for being one of the best places to work for! Seriously, who doesn't want to work for a company that treats its employees so well that they want to come to work every day? I am working on tweaking my resume so they can see that I'm the ideal candidate for this position. The hardest thing for me is working on a cover letter because I want it professional, but not too personal. I do want to include some personal details as that's the part that I think makes me perfect for this job. I know I sound a little frantic, but I desperately want to be able to enjoy life. I want to let go of my job at the end of the day or enjoy it so much that it doesn't stress me out when I go home. Make sense?
Well, I was really enjoying being able to write on my blog on a regular basis and it seems that "Season" has left me exhausted. I usually don't sleep for long periods of time and yet I find myself doing that almost regularly on my days off since I got promoted.

Wish me luck. It will be over soon.

Chocolate Zucchini

2009-10-23T19:38:00.005-05:00

Did I ever show you this chocolatey goodness? I made one of these during the summer and enjoyed it all for myself.

Everyone should enjoy the goodness of chocolate and zucchini joined together in perfect harmony. The joyous part is the icing is just water and powdered sugar. I think the next time I make it I'll have to remember to make more of the icing. In fact, it would behoove anybody to have extra icing on hand as it will not be the same without it.

If you want the recipe you'll have to ask me nicely. Oh, and if you don't believe that it's going to be fabulous, just trust me and make one. Okay?

"Surely the apple is the noblest of fruits." Henry David Thoreau, Wild Apples

2009-10-23T18:41:00.008-05:00

"Good apple pies are a considerable part of our domestic happiness." Jane Austen

I think I just fell in love with a new kitchen tool. Actually, it is officially defined as The Best kitchen tool ever!

I'm pretty sure that the apple tasted better because I used an apple corer/peeler thingy. Plus, it spiral cuts the whole apple which is even more exciting! I'm going to make tons of apple things now. Of course, my time is limited and the apple sales in the grocery store won't last for much longer.

2009-10-18T18:57:00.004-05:00

I have just received my first indication that I am in for a very long winter. See the following.

This is what it looks like outside my window. I know it's a bit fuzzy, but the flakes are getting bigger.

Usually, the first snow is a great sense of joy for me, but not this year. I absolutely love fall so having Mother Nature work her wiles on the seasons like this is rather disappointing. Sigh...hopefully the winter won't be too terrible. Stay warm everyone!

2009-10-11T10:29:00.002-05:00

It's been a little over a month since I posted. I suppose you should be updated on why it's been awhile since I posted. I got promoted at work! Woohoo! I then had two weeks of training at another store in New Hampshire. After that I started at my new store and it's now been two weeks since I've been there. I am officially busy now, but mostly because of the amount of time I spend driving to get there. I want to get back into a normal routine since not having one throws me into a loop for certain. I plan on going out today to take some pictures of the beautiful New England foliage before it disappears for another year.
If only it could be fall all the time. Right now all the fall colors are starting to blend and mesh and it's a beautiful burst of color. I absolutely love how the air feels outside as it is crisp and refreshing. Everything seems to be washed away to make way for the dark days of winter. For another month or so we New Englanders get to enjoy the last cookouts, fairs, beach visits, and trips to the park before we dawn our winter gear. While the first snow is always anticipated, the "first snow" happens so frequently that it tends to lose it's luster after a couple of feet of white fluff that seems to make it's trip to our part of the U.S. a more extended stay that we care to enjoy. However, back to autumn. I like passing large maple trees where the entire tree is turning orange and yellow while still being able to drop some of it's beautiful leaves in a heap on the sidewalks. There are piles of leaves that you can shuffle through while making the crinkling noise that is so familiar during this time of year. I remember how raking leaves was always a game. It was so much fun to rake every last leaf in a half mile radius to make a pile big enough for four kids to dive into. Moms and dads everywhere love this outdoor chore because they never have to follow through with it themselves. They can sit back while their children make mess after mess and continue to gather all the leaves again. When all "piles" have been exhausted you must then turn to making the scare crow that will sit on your porch or front stoop through Halloween. I miss these times and I love them. It was simple and it was beautiful. Thank you, Autumn. You remind me why I love you.

Lightning Bugs

2009-09-08T08:55:00.002-05:00

Fireflies

I cannot stop listening to this song. I love the the meaning behind it. Or rather what I interpret the meaning behind it is.
"I'd get a thousand hugs from ten thousand lightning bugs as they try to teach me how to dacnce". That's my favorite line in the whole song. It just makes me smile. I hope you enjoy it. I can't believe that I'm just discovering Owl City in general. They could become my new favorite group.

Promotion

2009-09-04T07:43:00.002-05:00

So, three weeks ago I went through a round table interview for the company I work with to become an Assistant Store Manager. It was myself along with 8 other people in my district, two of which are Department Supervisors with myself at the store I work in . I've been waiting for three weeks to hear some news and received it yesterday in the form of a job offer! So in about a week I'll be leaving my store to train in Massachusetts for two weeks and then be placed in my store in New Hampshire. I am very excited and nervous at the prospect of doing this. I feel like this is a big move for me and I feel like I have some clear definition of where I'm going. But I also feel really young. I know that my energy level and my drive are some factors for why I was chosen, so I hope that I will live up to those standards. I don't have any pictures for you guys recently.

I'm going to do another post later about my cleaning stuff. Seriously, that book has changed my life! I know it seems silly. I haven't even read all the way through it. I just know that everything I read inspires me to do a little more. It's a slow process, but right now I'm still on track with my kitchen being clean. However, I have realized that good cleaning tools make all the difference in the world, so I definitely need to invest in a better dust mop for in between vacuumings. Thanks you guys for reading in general. Of course, COMMENT! It makes it more exciting when I write. ;)

2009-08-31T07:06:00.003-05:00

"...due to delayed recall, if they were recalled at all. More often dreams are, of course, forgotten entirely, perhaps due to their (according to Freud) prohibited character." Quote from here

What do you think it means when you have recurring dreams? The weird thing about my dreams is that only a portion of my dream and some large element of it has been changed or altered in some way. In fact, this morning I was having a stressful dream in which I was asked to retake a test which was actually a puzzle that I had to solve again even though I had already done it correctly once. The professor wanted me to do it again although he saw me do it and state that he believed I cheated. For some reason, in my dream, I knew that he had a crush on me and he just wanted to see me a bit longer. I was completely aggravated and angry with him for doing this to me as the puzzle was rather difficult and I had a partner the first time. However, the recurring part of my dream was actually a location of a store in which I had been in in my dreams before. The outside of the building and what the store was selling had changed dramatically. The other stores surrounding it weren't exactly the same and the town in which it was residing was more run down than it had been in a previous dream. It seems weird to say that because the entire location is completely fictional to begin with, but I know it was the same location.

The length of my dreams has always been of particular interest to myself as I have had them described before as "epics". This seems fitting only because I recall my dreams with a lot of clarity and detail when I wake up. Many times if I just think about it when I wake up I will not forget the dream during the day.

Dreams referenced here
"REM sleep episodes and the dreams that accompany them lengthen progressively across the night, with the first episode being shortest, of approximately 10–12 minutes duration, and the second and third episodes increasing to 15–20 minutes."

A lot of the research I have done on dreams leads me to believe that it's impossible to determine any one thing about them. You can't determine if they are real, prophecies, manifestations of our waking lives, gods talking to us, fantasies, or even the subconscious trying to tell us something. Since most people don't remember their dreams to begin with, it seems unlikely that it could be most of the above factors.

I have taken to recording some of my stranger dreams in a journal to look back at some day and ponder. The thing is that I remember a lot of my dreams to begin with and I can recall them to mind pretty quickly. It's just that I tend to remember the longer dreams. I also generally have 3 repeating elements in my dreams.
1. Running. Most of the time I'm running away from something. If I'm not running away from something I'm running to catch up to some thing or some event. I generally wake up very exhausted after these dreams and I'm usually in bed early when I have these dreams so it's a bit counter productive.
2. Water. Floods, rain, swimming, fish tanks, sinks, oceans, rivers, waterfalls, you name it I've dreamt about it. Something dangerous is happening when there is water around. I don't always realize it right away (unless of course it's a flood) either.
3. Fighting with women. This one doesn't always happen in my dreams but it is common enough that I have to mention it. I feel like I'm almost hostile with the women in my dreams. Not always mind you, but generally. We just have huge arguments and they're the kind where the other person won't listen to a word you're saying. I feel frustrated in my dreams and wake up frustrated. Which can be frustrating. I haven't had one of those in awhile which I think is a GREAT thing, but I do wonder what that means in real life.

I have a real system of belief for my dreams and feel that they hold some deeper meaning that I'm not seeing. I don't often have happy dreams so I feel like they are my subconscious mind telling me that I'm stressed and that there is an element of my life that I need to let go of or work on. My mind is telling me to relax but I'm definitely not listening. I could be way off base, but this is what I've come up with for now.

Does anybody else dream as vividly as I do? Seriously, I dream constantly and consistently. Let me know what you guys think about my latest dream.

Ms. Clean if you please

2009-08-22T22:04:00.002-05:00

I can't believe it's been a week since I posted last. That's ridiculous in and of itself. I have decided, however, to dub myself Ms. Clean because Mr. Clean needs a babe and clearly that will be me. I have come so far with my cleaning endeavors in only a week and a half. Seriously, you would be amazed. I forgot to take before pictures so you could truly be in awe, but I'll take some tomorrow before I get all deep into it. I plan on cleaning up the last portions of my apartment and then adding finishing touches on it. I have a whole box of pictures that need to be put on my walls.

All of this cleaning is so I can make a life time change. I want to be organized enough to lessen my stress. There is absolutely no need for me to come home and feel more stress. The funny thing is that majority of my apartment is clean and I did get this overwhelming sense to want to mess it up. Just like the book said, I am creating this order and I'm afraid I won't have anything to do. The good part is that I didn't mess it up. I kept reminding myself how I wanted to create some free time by keeping things tidy. By me keeping my apartment in top shape I can actually start sewing regularly. I know when I have my craft space completely set up that will be another challenge for me, but I'm willing to face that head on. Wait until tomorrow when I post some good pictures for you.

Women don't sweat, they glisten

2009-08-16T18:13:00.004-05:00

I definitely glistened today in Maine's 90 degree weather. Mostly especially because I accomplished THIS:

I can't believe I have finally finished cleaning my kitchen. I know it seems like a small feat, but I am genuinely excited about it. The book that I've been reading has really turned my thinking around. I know that in about 30 days I'll have some better cleaning habits and while I wish it were sooner I'm making a commitment to this change. I never knew how difficult it could be to be so messy all the time. For all you clean people out there you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, but for the rest of us, it's a bitch! More to follow as I progress in my new endeavors!

Messies are Creative

2009-08-15T08:04:00.004-05:00

I am going to take control of my life. What that means is that I'm going to control the mess in my home and not let it control me. A few days ago I was reading one of my favorite blogs and she had a whole post about cleaning and what she does to control it. I'm a fan of natural cleaning and I try to only use natural products when I do get around to cleaning. It's nice to have so many alternatives to traditional chemicals. They smell fresher and I'm not worried about ingesting or inhaling the smells while I'm in such close contact to dirty surfaces. I read some of the comments that people left on this particular post and was pleased to discover some books about being messy. I know that books about organization are out there as I've worked for a bookstore before, but I never paid any attention to them. I remember the Home section being one of my favorites while everyone I knew despised it. A part from that though I find the allure of being able to make something messy clean again very appealing. The book that I discovered and purchased is called The Messies Manual: A Complete Guide to Bringing Order to Your Home.

This is a very eye opening book for me. This book identifies my problems with messiness so that I can change my way of thinking to keep a better home. It might sound a bit fubar, but this book is all about me! For some people cleaning and house keeping is a natural part of who they are and for some of us, like myself, it is ALWAYS a struggle. It's not that I enjoy being messy or that I don't know how to clean, but the way that I go about doing it inhibits my progress of maintaining it. I'm going to identify a few things for you so you know where I'm coming from.

I'm considered a "Perfectionis Messie" and a "Clean Messie". I find it difficult to start a task because I want it to be perfect, but in deciding how I want to approach it, I never start the cleaning to begin with. So in that sense it just sits there the way it has always been looking grimy. The second part is that when I actually do clean, I only half complete things. If I do laundry I feel good about it because at least I have clean laundry, but it may not be folded and put away. Just like dishes, they may be washed and out on the counter and that's what counts in my head. So I've identified what stops me from achieving my goal of a clean home, but moving forward is difficult. The bottom line is that after starting to read this book I feel like I can finally understand how to control the mess!
I finally started some more dishes yesterday. Feels good, too.

I discovered two other books that I would like to buy some other day that will help in controlling this horrendousness I live in.
*Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House
*Better Basics for the Home

As I was browsing in Borders yesterday, I came across some magazines that I found appealing. I am, as you know attracted to all things earth friendly and these titles caught my eye. I have no idea how long they've been around, but I like the idea of them.

*Simply Handmade (apparently hasn't been published in awhile)
* Green Craft Magazine (I can't find this one online. This was the most appealing as the ink, paper, and look of the magazine was recycled. No glossy pictures and all matte.)
*Altered Couture
* Ready Made (Okay, not new to me, but I love it anyway)

Thanks for stopping by!

The Best Part of Waking Up...

2009-08-14T08:21:00.005-05:00

...is not Folgers in my cup. It's flavored coffee. This morning I was making my coffee and I am using my absolute favorite coffee mug. The ironic thing is that it got me thinking about church.

Yeah, now it's completely obvious why, right? This beautiful, hand-crafted coffee mug was made by one of my middle school art teachers, Mr. Rick Taylor. This was given to me and several other 18-year-olds, from our church congregation upon graduating our respective high schools. I didn't drink coffee at the time so I could never have imagined out valuable this would be to me until years later, but it was definitely use for some nice teas. Back to my main point however. Church.

I used to be extremely involved in church. Not even my own necessarily, but church in general. My best friend attended the largest church in our town and it also happened to be right across from our high school. I was there frequently involved in Bible groups, devotions, youth groups, mission trips, Activators, vacation Bible schools, church services, and every other church related activity. The irony is that my church was right down the road from hers, but I never felt completely comfortable or welcome in my youth group. I know it had a lot to do with the fact that my best friend was part of another church and I also had no idea why I was going. I went to college completely confused about how I felt about religion in general. I was a member of United Methodist Church, attended Baptist functions, and enrolled in a Lutheran based college. Talk about confusion! Now, I am of the mind set that religiousness and God and things associated with heavenly beings are up to the individuals' interpretation. Honestly, I don't know where I fall. I understand the background of the Lutheran religion the best, but I don't know if that puts me any closer to wanting to be a part of it. I have always wanted to be a part of a church that I could call my home, but I don't know for what purpose. I am thankful for the time and experiences from being involved in a church atmosphere as there are so many things you can get out of it. Isn't it amazing that one cup of coffee can remind me of all of this? So there's your coffee for thought this morning. Drink up and add some sugar to that cup 'o' java.

Ambidextrous-ness

2009-08-07T08:28:00.002-05:00

Ever wondered what shapes your decisions in life? Is it environment? Is it your parents? Is it natural? This article explores a different theory on how we base our decisions that has nothing to do with any of those factors. Thisarticle explore a theory, little known to myself, that might be a bit of an eye opener for you. See what you think.

The House In The Woods

2009-08-04T12:02:00.000-05:00

I have a very lovely friend who graciously sent me some of her vintage notions. I was delighted to receive this box and saved my day off to really relish in the loveliness.

Here's the cute kitty vintage card that came inside the envelope.

So I pretty much fell in love with all the buttons in that box. So here's a shot of just them. Plus one of them has a likeness to a particular to a nipple and it makes me giggle. I know, it's childish, but it's still funny. See if you can figure out which one that is.

These are my favorites so far. I'll probably look at them again and decide that another set of buttons are prettier.

These are probably my favorite things in the box. I've been wanting to purchase some to try with some purses, but just haven't gotten around to it. They do give me some ideas though.

So what about this last picture reminds you of Harry Potter?

Also, this fun box gives me so many ideas for sewing projects. I definitely need to expand my crafty horizons and try something new with the detailing in my work. You know, when I am at my job paying attention to detail isn't a problem for me. When I'm at home and doing something for myself I some times let the details slide. I think it has to do with just getting it done. But anyway, I'm glad to have received this box to spark my interest again.

Fashion Sense

2009-07-31T21:17:00.002-05:00

I really am not good with fashion. Whenever I watched the show "What Not To Wear" I think what it would be like if my friends and family picked me to be on there. I'm not a horrible dresser per se, but I dress rather boring. I also don't dress like an adult. Well, actually because of my frame size wearing t-shirts tends to make me look more like a kid instead of an adult that is trying to have fun with their wardrobe. I'm awful at pairing items together, but I love the layered look of things. I've always wanted to look polished, but have a hard time figuring out how to make it look effortless. But there are items that I see that I love that I'm not sure if they're "hip" or "in" that I want to know your stance. I seriously would love to talk to Stacy and Clinton and have their help with my wardrobe.

But anyway, I live in New England and for most of the year my particular region is all about cold and winter days so I am often drawn to fashionable warm weather wear. I like this sweater and I think it's fashionable in a warm way. I just want to snuggle in it. So, what do you think? Is this fashionable or fashion faux pas?

Alphabet Soup

2009-07-27T11:40:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine wrote this post and I had to take a page from her book and see what I could come up with. I have literally been filling in the blanks since she posted this. I didn't want it to be meaningless so I took my time finishing this.

A is for "Austen" because Jane knows how to write a romance.
B is for "belly". I'm working on my abs because they need to be flatter. This woman has some great instructional videos for workouts.
C is for "Craftster". My absolute favorite website full of crafty inspiration.
D is for "diet". I'm trying to work more on eating nutritiously so I've been thinking about a well-balanced diet.
E is for "effervescent" which is how I've been described. I happen to agree. ;)
F is for "friendship". This past year has definitely tested some friendships and I love all of you who have stood by me.
G is for "Green". My favorite color and my way of life.
H is for "Harry Potter" Yeah, I'm a fan. Some day I want to have a Harry Potter room in my future house.
L is for "learn". I never realized how much I love to learn new things until I graduated college. Hmm...a little late, right?
M is for "movies". I have too many favorites to name. Yay for Netflix and local libraries.
N is for "naive". Sad, but true. I tend to be naive about life.
P is for "photography". I love my new camera and I've always loved photography.
Q is for "Questions". The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. ~Albert Einstein
R is for "recycle". Did you expect anything else?
S is for "sibling". I've got mad love for my brother. Enough said.
T is for "Tollipop". My new favorite blog. Well, not new since I've been reading it for a long time, but I appreciate her writing style and photography skills more and more.
U is for "USPS" Oldest mail delivery service in America is closing many branches to cut costs and the declining use of our national service.
V is for "Vermont". I will always be a Vermonter at heart. Give me maple syrup, moose, and the great outdoors any day! Oh, yeah, and definitely some Cold Hollow Cider and donuts.
W is for "writing". This is one of my early efforts below. Clearly, it wasn't that good because I only got a B.

X is for "Xylophone". Okay, it's not really, but it reminds me of the book Animalia by Graeme Base. Every letter of the alphabet has a page and every single thing on that page starts with that particular letter of the alphabet. Plus, the illustrations are amazing!
Y is for "yarn." I'm a yarn whore (Thanks to KK I have a sign that says that I am).
Z is for "zest". As in "zest for life". I do have zest, but my zest for life can be lacking at times. I'm trying to experience all those fun things that I got to do growing up that I haven't been able to enjoy in my adult life.

If you read all the way through this, you rock. Hopefully, you learned some fun things about me. Or maybe you already knew them, but too bad, because I got you to read them again. HA!

Instructables

2009-07-26T18:03:00.003-05:00

Instructables is one of the coolest websites I have ever bisited. I've known about it for years now, but i forget to share it with people. This is THE website to go to for how-tos on just about everything. Want to make some stairs? Choose from an array of styles, materials, and follow the color pictures. Feel like growing your own veggies, but don't know where to start? This will show simple ways and give you advanced tips too. All you have to do is read the instructions, material lists, and click on the pictures. It's amazing! But there are also some fun articles that link to some pretty amazing projects. Try this out first. Here's the full NY Times slideshow for you to check out.

Glass Explosion

2009-07-23T09:55:00.005-05:00

So, I must admit that I am not always, how shall I put it, the tidiest person to live with. Don't get me wrong, I actually enjoy cleaning. When I had roommates in college they dorm room was always very clean. But if there is one thing that I hate it's doing the dishes. I mean, I despise doing the dishes. Growing up I was always happier washing the bathtub, scrubbing the toilet, and cleaning the sink in the bathroom before I'd ever do the dishes. It's not like I had to hand wash them or anything like that, but the thought of touching dishes grosses me out.

Now, I live in an apartment without a dishwasher and it about kills me. Besides the fact that hand washing uses more water than dishwashers, I don't have the motivation to wash my dishes regularly. Of course, I have dish washing gloves to make it less painful, but I think I need to embarrass myself to actually motivate me to do my dishes. Without further ado. I give you...my kitchen.

So go ahead and make comments. It's true that this is disgusting. I literally have no dishes in my cupboards to speak of. However, the following picture will be even more embarrassing .

Yep, when you don't wash your dishes and you leave glass on the stove and then turn on the wrong burner, it EXPLODES. There's a huge popping noise and then glass shards all over. It's not that fun to clean either. So, in the next few days you will see pictures of a very clean kitchen and you'll see it revamped a little too. Yup, comment away on how dirty I am because it'll make me feel gross and then I'll clean. :(

In the queu

2009-07-22T21:11:00.002-05:00

I definitely haven't been blogging as much recently which is strange. It's only strange because I feel I have so much to say to you all. I actually have two posts waiting in the wings, but they need to be tweaked a bit before I release them upon you. There seems to be a lot going on in my life so I definitely want to share with everyone.

Lately, I've been cleaning and rearranging my apartment. Maybe that seems like a trivial thing, but for me it's huge. I hate living in apartments or places that aren't permanent fixtures. I don't get to rearrange things how I want and I don't have enough of the kind of furniture I would like to make it appear permanent. Also, I'm tired of living like a college student. I even had the stupid cable guy fixing something here and he mentioned that I looked like I needed to save money because I looked like a student. I think that was a reflection on my living quarters. ARG! How do you people decorate? I feel like I have no distinct style in any way and that drives me batty. I have so many ideas of how I want my home to look that nothing concrete ever seems to form. Does that make sense? I have colors in my head and patterns that I like, but nothing ever comes to fruition. So I am trying to work with what I have and really make a statement with the objects that I have. I definitely have enough craft supplies and fabric to be able to make almost anything that I desire. I have a lot of unfinished projects so I'm trying to come up with ideas on how to organize them better. I don't want to have a billion unfinished craft projects so I want to work on a system that will keep me from moving on to something else prematurely. Who knows what I'll come up with. So keep reading please! I will get my posts out to you and let you know what's up. Thanks for reading dutifully. I will not go long without posting. :)

Ten paces and then "draw"!

2009-07-12T13:05:00.006-05:00

I am not gifted with a sketch book and pencil. I swear that I have tried, but my hands do not guide me in the ways of 2D artistry. My brother was the one blessed with the talent of drawing and decided to take some lessons in that direction. I however, was blessed with the ability to see colors, shapes, and objects and turn them into little gems of brilliance. Okay, maybe not brilliance, but I think you get the idea that I enjoy (ed) working with my hands to make things even when I was little. Today, I found a fabulous post on Crafster that really intrigued me. I definitely don't have the same skills that this girl does, but she inspired me to try my hand at my own mandalas. I never really understood the purpose of these, but they are cathartic for certain. Plus,there are no rules as to what is and isn't right. She drew inspiration from this video and I have to say it gives me some ideas as well. I think I'm going to have to invest in some more pens with finer tips to really make this fun to do.

I just used what I had lying around so it doesn't look quite as cool. Also, I was being a little too ambitious and I was trying to draw a hand holding that thing. It didn't exactly work and I kind of messed up and had to draw a lady bug on the hand. Plus, my scanner wasn't scanning the whole picture clearly.

This shows the top portion a little more clearly. Hope you like it.

Powershot G10

2009-07-06T08:03:00.004-05:00

Here's a little preview of what I've been up to with my new camera. By no means are they awesome pictures, but I like how my camera works.

Love Bugs

2009-06-28T21:41:00.001-05:00

I can't help but giggle when I see this commercial. The last part is the funniest though.

Delectable

2009-06-24T09:45:00.003-05:00

I cam across the blog The Dinner Files via my friend's blog post. This particular postreally struck me even though I don't have children. I've always felt that the best way kids learn to like something is a simple non-reaction to it. I mean, if you tell a kid that it's good for them or make a big deal out of a certain type of food you want them to enjoy, they will likely turn away from it. Of course, if you just enjoy it then they'll want to do as their parent does. The same goes for bumps and scrapes. I've witnessed several instances when a child bumps their head or falls down where parents rush to them with that, "Oh, dear! Are you okay? Awe, sweetie, I'm sorry!" all while their kid is crying it's head off with no actual injury to themselves. But on the flip side, on few occasions, I've also witnessed parents who just "do" when something happens. I feel that if you can have this reaction you'll teach your kid not to freak out about situations in life in general. They'll have a calmer approach to things and maybe have a little less stress in life. I mean, if a kid bumps his head and there is no injury to him at all, their reaction is really just the shock that they hit their head and not that they hurt themselves. Maybe my thought process is off, but I truly believe that's the case. I've seen it a million times thanks to my job location. Thoughts?

Personally, just enjoy the wonderful blog post as I want to eat everything this woman describes. I'm also adding her to my list of wonderful blogs to read regularly. :)

Passing Breezes

2009-06-21T10:26:00.005-05:00

I watched the wind and the rain today. I watched the wind as it changed directions and moved the trees to suit its needs. The trees stood tall and proud like soldiers until the wind mussed up their leaves like an older brother ruffles his sibling's hair. They amaze us being able to withstand the earth's storms with little to no damage to themselves. While they don't all survive, they endure and grow upward without being bothered by life's adversities. Their trunks grow stronger and their rings reflect their trials, but still they grow. Their roots hold onto to what is stable knowing that the harder they try the more strength they will have. We use them, but they do not care for then they are useful. I watched the wind as it stirred the trees today and then I knew. I just knew.

Food Movies

2009-06-16T22:26:00.006-05:00

Chocolat is one of those hidden gems that is maybe not so hidden. I fell in love with this movie when I saw it in college and it is such a warming story. Plus, I want to eat the hot chocolate out of the mug.

Like Water for chocolate is another fantastic movie with food as the running theme. I have actually only seen this movie once, but I remember how colorful it was. I also remember it was kind of sad. Plus, as an added bonus there is some knitting going on in this movie. Well the knitting lasts for a "long time". (drum symbol crash) Yeah, if you've seen it you know what I mean. What's nice about this movie is that it has a book counterpart. I have no read it, but as always, read the book because there are probably details in it that make it amazing that the movie just can't capture.

Eat Drink Man Woman is one of my favorites. I have no idea why I don't own this on DVD yet. The whole story is centered around food and family. The food that the family cooks for a Sunday dinner is BEAUTIFUL. It makes me so hungry and I cannot imagine the amount of labor that goes into those meals. There is a lot of attention to detail in this film as well which is always something I look for.

Waitress needs no introduction. I already mentioned that this is a wonderful movie, but I wish I had half the genius that the woman in this movie has with pies. Plus, it makes me want dessert really badly. I just never knew there was so man different kinds of pies.

The Secret of the Green Papaya is a Korean movie with very little dialogue. In fact, I think there is very little going on. From what I remember of it there isn't that much cooking and the green papayas don't actually make an appearance until the last 5 minutes of the movie. They have no bearing on the plot, but check it out anyway. The main character does a lot of serving of food so it could fall into this genre.

Why are they all mostly about desserts? Regardless, they are all delectable. These definitely make me want to eat locally more often, too. :)

Waitress

2009-06-16T17:21:00.002-05:00

"I hope someday somebody wants to hold you for 20 minutes straight and that's all they do. They don't pull away. They don't look at your face. They don't try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight, without an ounce of selfishness in it.”

Character of Jenna Hunterson played by Keri Russell in Waitress

Sometimes this is exactly how I feel when I want hugs. This is the absolute best way to describe how a hug can make me feel. I'm not saying that I'm in need of hugs right now, but I love how Keri Russell's character puts this into words. As humans, touch is so important to our every day lives and a huge part of our development when we are children. It's amazing how this seemingly simple form of connection between persons can affect how we interact and handle our emotions as adults. Do you agree?

p.s. Please just watch this movie. It's another one of those food movies that you just have to watch. More on that in another post.

Little Notes

2009-06-12T20:01:00.003-05:00

With all the different jobs I've had, at some point or another thoughts have popped in my head unrelated to work. That being the case I need some place to write them down and random paper scraps tend to fall prey to my scribblings. I came across something I wrote once while trapped at the cashwrap at "the book store".

"I will shelve until my hands become so dry they start to split and bleed. I will rearrange to my heart's desire. I will alphabetize until my vision is blurred and I have to do it with my eyes closed. I will smile cordially to customers til the cows come home and my mouth begins to hurt. My face will be frozen from so much smiling. I will sticker, mark-down, move books from one table to another, and place special orders at the drop of a hat. I will fend off Harry Potter fans with my bare hands while pointing customers to the right section. I can PDT the children's section in half an hour as well as hand sell Qualitative Reading Inventory-3 to illiterate 2-year-olds."

Apparently I ran out of steam and time because that's all there is. I remember writing down a lot of things when I worked for "the bookstore". Of course, when I was straightening particular sections I would keep a little notebook with me so I could write down book titles when they struck my fancy. Then I would create these incredibly long lists of books that I wanted to look at more thoroughly and check them out of the library to decide if I wanted to purchase them or not. Ah, good times.

I Can't Hear You

2009-06-08T21:26:00.003-05:00

"There are more than 500,000 words in the English language, but a person who masters only 250 words will recognize more than two-thirds of all words shown in television captions—provided the 250 words are those that are most frequently used. Equally dramatic, a beginning reader could be taught just 10 words—the, you, to, a, I, and, of, in, it, that—and then recognize more than one out of every five words. Mastery of the top 79 words means being able to read half of all words captioned." Source: Perspectives in Education and Deafness, Volume 16, Number 1, September/October 1997

I was reading this on an ASL website today and it really struck a chord with me. I was trying to assist a hearing impaired customer the other day and I felt awful that I couldn't remember my signs for her. Thankfully, I was able to give her directions and I was able to understand what she was saying to me. The bad part is that I can read sign (sort of), but responding is very difficult for me. I took an ASL course in college and probably would have enjoyed it more had the teacher not had a propensity for meanness because she was deaf. She is what I would call a deaf person with a chip on her shoulder. She definitely felt like she was entitle to be rude because she was deaf and that hearing people aren't worthy of her knowledge. I liked the design of the course because it is a very involved kind of learning. Given the chance to do it again, I would absolutely try harder and become more involved in the deaf community. I really want to be able to communicate more effectively with the deaf customers that come to the store and I think I'm going to teach myself signs again. I always failed at fingerspelling, but I'm going to practice to and from work while in the car. That suggestion from my ASL class has always stuck with me, so I'll try it to become more adept at it. But for now, try thiswebsite as a great resource to begin learning a little ASL.

In the mean time you can try to figure out a sign name for yourself. To be a true sign name it should actually be given to you by somebody who is deaf. I'm lucky because I have been given one! It's a combination of the sign for beautiful and the letter of my first name. Isn't that sweet?

I'm addicted...so don't tell anyone.

2009-06-07T09:45:00.000-05:00

I read this article the other day on Etsy. I'm convinced that once I start to sell on Etsy, this will be me. Or rather, that will be my significant other. I can't wait. I'm pushing myself to do amazing things at home so I will have the freedom to be my own boss. I'm trying to do some more sewing just to get some practice in. So I'm going to make simple things to work on my finishing techniques.

This was a simple place mat that I made for a friend. I was going to bring it over to her last night and even had it in my purse, but I'm glad I didn't. It didn't work out exactly how I planned. I need to make the silverware pocket smaller to holder her utensils, and the loop doesn't fit around the entire napkin roll. Ah, well. That'll teach me to use a pattern or at least take some measurements.

Let me know what you think of my sewing projects so I can get better at them.

Oh, and I found a great video online from Threadbanger about how to draw croquis.

Of course, I can't draw worth a lick, but I'll try it if it means I can start to design some clothes to wear for myself. I have a bunch of material and some old clothes that I'd like to revamp.

These were my attempts at drawing a croquis. Like I said, I do not like drawing, but I want to try something completely outside of my box to start honing in on my sewing skills. And I'm sure you've noticed that I have no skill for drawing either. I don't want to start designing purses or bags without a template because I think it'd be slightly unprofessional. Of course, from everything I've ready about Etsy sellers, they all have their own way of doing things. If you're interested in why I'm always so interested in what Etsy sellers have to say check out this series of articles that I am addicted to.
ENJOY!

Crafter fo' Evah'

2009-06-04T08:44:00.012-05:00

I have been doing a lot outside of work these days. Well, I'd like to think that I am doing a lot outside of work. The reality is that I can't keep my apartment clean to organize my craftiness, but I'd rather take pictures of the few things I've been doing. I love making things and I'll always get joy out of that.

I'm really proud of the fact that I've actually grown something from seedlings and they haven't died yet. My mom sent me one of those all-in-one kits for some tomato and basil plants as a birthday gift. They're fool proof because it tells you how to grow them on the packaging and includes everything you need. I definitely do not have a green thumb, but growing these plants makes me want to grow some more.

I really want to start planting some other veggies. Because I live in an apartment, I don't have the luxury of planting anything I want. Actually, I don't have enough space in my windows to grow what I want. I think I'm going to attempt to grow lettuce because that's what I want the most.

I have also been itching to sew something. More specifically, I've been wanting to sew a purse. I can definitely make up my own own designs for purses, but I'm trying to try out different purses to become more familiar with purse construction in general. I also want to try all the different ways that other people construct purses to see what I like. The construction of some purses are easier to do than others, but also the finished product looks more polished on some than others. This is going to be the beginning of my purse making for my business. Good plan, huh? Well, I followed an online pattern from here. Let me tell you that those instructions are not easy to follow. I feel like some important steps were left out and some things could have been simplified to make it more understandable. But here is my finished purse none the less.

*EDIT* I forgot to tell all of you that I made this bag with recycled materials. It's not 100% recycled because the lining fabric was something my mom bought me in November, but the outer fabric is made from an Ikea pillowcase that I've had for awhile and it was just too itchy to sleep on. :) The buttons were some old ones that my mom sent me, too. :)

So, I'm going to take my mother's advice and buy a newspaper. I know it sounds odd when I'm talking about sewing purses and making my own designs. She's right though, newspaper paper is the BEST you can get to draft your own patterns. It's not as stiff as computer paper and there's a lot of it in one newspaper (yes, even in Maine there's enough sections to work with) to be able to draft many patterns at once. AWESOME! Wish me luck. I'll be back in a few days with some ideas. I might attempt some drawings even though I cannot draw to save my soul. :)

Going Hunting

2009-05-28T08:11:00.002-05:00

Job hunting that is! This is one of the most difficult processes for certain. I'm on the lookout for a good job and I have a tough criteria for what defines "good". I'm looking for weekends off, salaried, fast-paced, and a great team of people. I don't want to sell anything to anyone or worry about having to meet stupid standards for a corporation. I'm hoping to find a local company that has strong roots and bosses who actually care about the people that are the heartbeat of their company. Weird, right? I've done office work before, so I'm not averse to sitting in front of a computer, but I need to be able to move around, too. I don't want to be tied to one position as I want to be able to move up and learn new tasks. I've always hated inflexible companies where they decide you can only do one thing. It's very frustrating. that's basically where I am with this right now. I've sent out a few resumes, but I'm being extremely picky with my process. I don't want to settle for something, but I'm also not getting any nibbles. You would figure with all my experience that employers would be excited to have me, however that doesn't seem to be the case. We'll see how that goes.

Dear Corporate

2009-05-17T11:46:00.002-05:00

Retail Corporate Office
May 2009

To Whom It May Concern:

You have been in charge of large retail corporations for many decades. As the years pass your companies grow bigger and stronger creating more jobs for "corporate" people. I would be remiss to say that all your years of experience haven't taught you how to run a company, but I feel there are a few things you should know about how your leadership comes across to people. All day long you sit in a 10x10 room and think of ways to "improve" your business. You churn out ideas that try to justify your job and your position in the corporate office. However, your ideas that you have so superfluously distributed never actually seem to develop your companies as a whole. While you sit in front of a computer screen all day you can never know what it is that your "worker bees" actually do without actually working in the stores.
We run your business and we make it stronger yet you reap the all the benefits. I find it extremely disappointing that you think it's a good idea to continually shoot all of your worker bees in the foot on a regular basis just to suit yourself. Eventually your businesses won't be around because you chose to hurt the people who work the hardest. You choose to cut hours but demand the same results. You choose to make changes at the drop of a hat without any thought to the consequences. While the economy has a little to do with why your businesses are doing poorly overall, it has little do with why each store is not achieving results. Eventually, the way you treat people will come back to bite you in the ass, but until then I can hope that you will come to your senses. When I start my own business, I will not let money, power, or the opinion of others blind me. I will speak my mind and stand up for what I believe in instead of blindly following where others lead. I know I will do this because your mistakes have taught me to ignore stupidity and work hard.

In short, you have shown time and again how incapable you are of running a business by the courtesy you fail to give your workers. Realize that your workers owe you nothing as you give nothing that motives them. No money. No hours. No benefits. And the people who make it fun are the people that they work with. People stick with the jobs because they do not like the change, but also because people they work with at the stores make it great. They are the foundation of your companies and without them are you nothing. But from what I can see right now, even with them, you are NOTHING.

Sincerely,
Incogknito

My voting map

2009-05-11T08:44:00.002-05:00

Oh, check out my voting map so far. I hope more of you vote, because it'd be cool to see how many people from different states vote. Plus, who voted from Tennessee? A little curious!

Website Polls Powered By MicroPoll

Multifaceted

2009-05-10T12:57:00.000-05:00

With all the restructuring going on at my job right now, I am realizing new things about myself. I am multifaceted. I am talented. I am motivated. The bottom line is that I'm learning I'm an asset and valuable to a team. I am adaptable and quick. I am not over confident about my abilities, I am just realizing that I am being confident enough. This is a new feeling for me. Seriously, I don't know if I've ever felt like I can do anything before. I am not saying that I don't have room to grow because there is always room for that. I just mean to say that all I need to realize is that I am my own road block. I am the only person that holds me back. Nobody can hold me back unless I let them do that to me.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I am starting to hold fast to those very wise words from that very strong, smart woman. I spend too much of my time thinking that someone else is going to help me when I should just do it myself.

This leads me to my next endeavor. I am going to start working on starting my online business. I have done tons of research to make sure I'm going about it the right way. Now, I have to actually start making product and branding it. I want everything to be professional and well planned before I begin selling items. Of course, you guys might be able to help me a bit with this. Take this poll and let me know what you think. The idea is that I want something that is meaningful in my title, but related to nature. Of course, I could come up with hundreds of ideas, but these are the few I've been thinking of.

Take this poll for me

This will help me a little bit if I know what appeals to people. Of course, if not enough of you vote then it won't help me at all. If you have other suggestions besides these let me know. I want to include nature in my shop title in some way, but relay the fact that it's eco friendly as well.

Thanks in advance!

Faith In The System

2009-04-30T15:59:00.003-05:00

I'm pretty sure I'm losing my faith in people. Okay, maybe not all people, but the company that I work for. I'm desperately trying to change jobs, but it's much harder than it seems. Long story short, I'm being given more responsibility without being compensated and things are being taken away from me. My boss has even been telling me how much he wants to get me promoted, but I'm starting to not believe anything I hear. If there is something that I've learned about myself its that I catch onto things very quickly. Give me a task and I will accomplish it. I'm not a sit back and wait kind of person. If I don't know something or understand a process, then I will make it my mission to ask questions until I do know. Of course, with all the work that I'm putting into this company it seems awfully ridiculous to not be working for myself. Time and time again I am disappointed in the company and the people that I work for. I am constantly let down as I tend to hold corporations and people to a higher standard than I probably should. In turn I am then let down when my working environment is not what I feel that it should be. I shouldn't let myself get so down about this kind of stuff, but I have a tendency to crash pretty hard. The question is: Why am I not working for myself?

Just A Notion

2009-04-28T07:59:00.005-05:00

*sidebar: I had the idea for last Thursday's post earlier in the week and saved it to publish on Thursday. I forgot to change the date from the date I wrote it to the date I actually published it and it got buried in the other posts. Now, you can see it and I will appease Katie by posting a new one today. :)

I like to write in my journal on occasion, but it's not completely lateral. I paste pictures in it, journal, or draw in it (albeit terribly). But I wrote something that I thought was kind of humorous and ironic. Maybe this will help you a little bit to understand the functioning of my mind. Good luck.

I went to a counselor once who helped me with some note taking techniques. We tried different thought bubbles, but I find that to be messy and difficult to understand my notes. I guess outlining just stuck even when I don't actually use the right format. I used to keep everything indented. How does your brain work?

**Update: I changed a few things on my sidebar. You might want to check some of the blogs out that I follow because the pictures are gorgeous.

Thesaurus Thursday

2009-04-23T17:00:00.000-05:00

When you read my blog you may notice some random thrilling words thrown into my writing. I cannot help myself when it comes to using "fun" words as I'm a paladin (look that one up!) for a wide vocabulary. I have a widget on my dashboard (if you're a mac user you'll understand what I'm talking about) called "Word of the Day" that I like to view most every day. Unfortunately, I rarely remember the words unless I immediately use them in a sentence and then do it repeatedly throughout the entire day. And probably the next couple of days. That seems like a lot of extra effort for just one word when I know there will be another new word the following day. The other resource I like to use to expand my writing vocabulary is my thesaurus widget on my dashboard. Of course, using this reminds me of one of my high school buddies. She and I used to get great pleasure from putting the final touches on her English papers because of this great thick reference book. She, I believe, has always taken great enjoyment from words. While I have always appreciated writing, I think she gave me an appreciate for words that I didn't realize I had until half way through college. Basically, every time I use my thesaurus and find a word that sparks my interest I think of her. She may no have these same colorful memories when she uses a thesaurus, but for me it will always be there.

Kinda Sutra

2009-04-21T07:17:00.002-05:00

Okay, I happened to click on one of those advertisement links on Facebook and I came across this video. This is very funny to me because I'm sure many of us had some strange idea about where babies came from when we were children.

Kinda Sutra

How Did They Know?

2009-04-18T14:18:00.004-05:00

I decided to find out my horoscope for today via Astrosage and this is what it had to say.

"Your frustration could ruin your health- if you keep thinking about past events- Try to relax as much as possible. Stick to your budget to avoid financial constraints. Don't force your opinion on friends and relatives as it may not go in your interest and you can make them annoyed unnecessarily. Someone may compliment you. Problems with servants- colleagues and co-workers cannot be ruled out. Shopping and other activities will keep you busy most of the day."

I would say that this is mostly accurate. Kind of scary. Of course, it isn't difficult for a horoscope to be accurate when things aren't exactly how you want them. Ah, well.

Of course, I am already trying to do what this horoscope is telling me will improve my quality of life. I'll update you some more on how that works out. ;) Happy Saturday!

Thankful Thursdays

2009-04-16T16:00:00.008-05:00

So, instead of bitching about what kind of day I had today, I will convert this into a "Thankful Thursday" post. Thanks to all the bicycles that I had to lift off bike tiers I'm building up some nice muscle tone in my arms. How's that for a free workout? Now, If I could just figure out a way to tone my lower body at work...
(Amazon.com.2009. Amazon, inc. April 16, 2009. www.amazon.com)
In my spare time I'm delving more into the book The Gentle Art of Domesticity by Jane Brocket. I got this book as a Christmas gift and I'm pretty sure I've fallen in love with it. It's the best book about leading a simple, artistic, domestic life that I've ever read. Of course, I haven't read a whole lot of books on this particular subject, but I can't get enough of them. The author of this book speaks intelligently and descriptively with a very unique writing style. I love the fact that many (or rather most) of the photographs in this book are taken by her. Looking at her photos by themselves is enough imagery, but add her illustrative descriptions and I feel like I'm taking the pictures myself and actually doing what she is doing. Everything has meaning and yet it is all so simplified. This bookis a must read. Please, check it out if you are at all interested in this kind of life. If you'd like a little taste of how she lives her life, then stop on by yarnstorm.

This probably feels like an advertisement for this particular book, but I absolutely love it. Ever day I try to get one step closer to living a simpler life and this book inspires me to do just that. It inspires me to make more, bake more, and live more. It also keeps my creativity going when I think I'm running out of it. It's not like I could ever actually run out of creativity, but I feel so stifled some times. I don't want to feel stifled anymore. I have kept to my scheduled Thursday blog time, so at least that's looking up. Once I get more comfortable with this then you'll see pictures of my own on here. Cool, huh?

I plan on using this blog as a future form of advertising, so I think it's good practice to do this weekly. I've actually been aching to blog for the past seven days. Woohoo! It's not that I've had earth shattering news or anything, but I just wanted to talk to all of you.

I appreciate you guys actually reading my blog. I've debated posting my blog link on Facebook, but I think I like knowing that only a few people are reading my thoughts right now. I mean, I want more people to know me and know where I'm coming from, but for now I'll take my small followers as they come. You guys rock! There are so many blogs out there that I love and I want to strive to be like some of them. Take a look at Soule Mama (My absolute FAVORITE blog ever), Tiny Happy, Tollipop, Applehead, and 3191. They are so visually stimulating and expressive that I have to visit these a few times a week just to satisfy my creative urges.

Thanks for stopping by today! Or Tomorrow!

Holy Bajoles

2009-04-09T16:20:00.003-05:00

So I'm keeping my promise. I'm making my trivial blog post today. I was thinking about how the point of this blog is to reveal a little bit more about myself to those in cyberland, but to also share myself with my friends and family. However, in some ways this provides a little bit of a mask for myself. I still have a tendency to hide a bit behind my words and my pictures to keep from sharing too much. I'm hoping that in time I'll be able to open up completely on this here blog. I've already kept to my scheduled blog date. I'm going to try and blog every Thursday to start with. Once I get more comfortable and maybe even post more than once a week then I'll try to start adding some other form of media in here. That's my plan, Stan.

I really want to live in a house some day. That's all I've been thinking about recently. I've been thinking how I wish I didn't live in an apartment and I wish that I could run around a place that I could call my own. I absolutely hate temporary living and that's all I've been doing. I don't even have proper furniture to store and showcase my things. It drives me batty that I still have things in boxes and I have no place to put them. My mom suggested that I should just take the things out of the boxes and then turn the boxes upside down and drape some kind of cloth over them. I love that my mom was trying to help me out, but I pointed out to her what I'm going to point out to you. Just the thought of using boxes for furniture makes me feel less like an adult than I felt five years ago when I graduated from college. It's very aggravating to not feel stationary and secure at this point in my life. While I haven't read a lot of poetry in my life (and I know there is plenty out there), one particular poem always comes back to me when there are changes in life whether good or bad, easy or difficult, happy or sad.

The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood
and I-- I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Blogging Frenzy

2009-04-08T10:14:00.002-05:00

Okay, I feel like I have a ton to blog about, but I never seem to blog. An amazing friend of mine reminded me that even if I feel something isn't blog worthy, my friends and family most likely will. She reminded me that even if my posts are minimal my friends want to be able to keep up with me regularly and this is a great medium for them to do that. I guess I'll start with what I've been up to.

I've been working like a crazy woman, though not as much as some people I know. I've made a lateral move in the store from Human Resources to Bike/Boys/Action/Girls/Dolls. To be honest I'm a bit relieved to relinquish my position. I'm glad to be on the floor because it gives me mobility and I can use my anal skills to organize things the way I like. I absolutely do not want to make a career out of this place, but recently I have been telling myself that I will do the best I can with what I have right now.

Also, I've been writing in my journal a lot more. Writing has always been an outlet for me (even more than crafting), so it feels great to be writing even in little bits here and there. It's kind of encouraging me to scrapbook in a weird way or collage rather. I can't help myself, but I love to cut and paste things on paper. ;)

My crafting has been minimal, but I've managed to squeak out a few things. I crocheted a barrel purse minus the icky flower, nasty handles, and the bright yellow color. Of course, I used some yarn that I had on hand and I'm pretty sure it could rival the nasty color factor, but I like it. Isn't that all that matters?

I celebrated my 27th birthday a couple of days ago. It is starting to make me feel very old to say that. I know I may look younger than I actually am, but I'm now in my LATE 20s and that's just crazy. I didn't really do much to celebrate, but I think that was just perfect.

I just wanted to shout out to everyone and thank them for support in recent months and for reading my blog. Hopefully, you guys will continue to read and I'll continue to post. I'm setting an alarm on my computer right now so I will post weekly at first.

Shiver Me Timbers....or some such phrase.

2009-03-04T09:21:00.006-05:00

Does anything ever give you "the chills"? There are a few movies that I love that when it comes to a particular scene in the movie I get goosebumps all over my arms. Maybe I'm a strange woman, but these movie scene impact my heart ins some way. I really feel that I'm moved by these scenes because they usually involve a large number of people working toward the same goal for the greater good. Some times it's not even the greater good, it just happens that everybody in that scene is doing the same thing whether it's dancing or cheering and I find that captivating. Last night I was turned onto a particular commercial that I found so delightful that I watched it three times in a row. I know that it's rehearsed, but it always makes me wonder, "what if it weren't rehearsed?" It gives me hope for our future. I know that's so corny to say that, but I love that people could forget about their differences and work toward a common goal. Okay, so without further ado, let me show you what I'm talking about. Check this out

New Year's Resolution

2009-02-07T09:54:00.001-05:00

Okay, so it's been a very long time since you heard from me. I guess I could start of with my resolutions for this year via this particular link.

See what you think and try your own.

Death or Taxes

2008-08-10T17:39:00.003-05:00

So being "in the green" (kind of like being in the know) makes me re-think how I do many things in life. There are so many things in my life that I've changed since I started learning about ways to be environmentally friendly.
For instance, I no longer use paper towels at home. I use rags and dishcloths to wipe up spills or dry my hands. It's actually turned out to be easier than using paper towels. I just throw the dirty ones in with the wash and all is right in the world. I turn off the water when I brush my teeth. While this seems like such a minor change, it saves about 2 gallons of water every time you brush. Try it and you'll be glad you did with all the money you'll save on your water bills. I think the biggest change though has been the I no longer use plastic bags from the grocery store. In fact, I no longer use bags from any store. That's not to say that it doesn't happen occasionally, but I try my hardest to never use a bag if I can carry things myself or to just bring my own. Besides, I absolutely love bags and that gives me chance to make my own or buy cool ones. Below is a bag that I created from an old Wild Oats bag that I got for free. I had a few of them and decided to dress it up a bit.

All this got me to thinking about something that the progressive state of California does. The San Francisco Plastic Bag Ban has started a ripple effect in many cities throughout the United States as well as many other countries in the world. Now, California is even trying to pass the California Bag Tax where every resident will have to pay 25 cents for every plastic bag they use. That's what I consider environmentally friendly! Other countries, like Germany have long been a head of the curve on this one and I think it's only a matter of time before our whole country is doing the same thing.
I find this very inspiring and it even makes me wonder if this is something my city could do. Maybe I'll look into it and see what it would take to get this ball rolling. Until then, consider bringing your own bags to the grocery store. You'll be happy you did because you won't have to worry about all those plastic bags hanging around your place.

A bit 'o fun.

2008-08-07T07:26:00.001-05:00

So, I found this fabulous video. This is sound advice, so listen up.

Romantic Picnic

Appreciate your employees

2008-06-24T21:17:00.003-05:00

Clearly, working in a toys store has it's perks. I will prevail the next time we drag race!

I'm pretty sure associates aren't supposed to beat their managers while racing.

Lovin' the 80s

2008-06-05T06:48:00.002-05:00

So, the other day I went on this kick for finding fabulous 80s music. I know, it's kind of an oxymoron, but I couldn't stop myself. Thankfully, I got a new iPod touch a few days ago and I can rock out to Van Halen, The Steve Miller Band, Def Leopard, and every other fabulous band you can think of. But personally, thinking of the 80s also gets me thinking of 80s movies. I mean, who doesn't love every Michael J. Fox movie out there? Seriously? Don't lie, because you know you like them all and they all have some kind of a music montage. Thanks to a little online quiz I found out some interesting news about my tastes.

Your 80s Hunk Is

Michael J. Fox

Who's Your 80s Hunk?

Sigh....dreamy.

HIYAH!!

2008-06-04T07:51:00.004-05:00

I bet you didn't know that $5.00 could get you Karate Kid and bandana! That is how cool that movie is because the bandana is a bonus! I've become really good at karate chopping, too. Watch out!

Snippets of Life

2008-05-19T21:43:00.004-05:00

So, it's been ages since I've posted on here. Life has caught up with me and my rechargeable batteries have died. The combination of the two of those things has caused me not to post for some time. Plus, I haven't done any crafty projects worth posting.
I'm pretty sure I have "memorabilia" and I'd like to spread it around a bit to everyone. Hopefully, you won't be to averse to the remnants of my past because I plan on posting random excerpts of my life in pictures. I'm thinking I should have a specific day of the week where I post pictures from my past. I think Mondays are going to be the best day of the week to share with all of you (all three of you who actually read my blog) and a way to keep me posting regularly.

That's my Big, Jen. Yes, that's some Mike's in my hand.

Obviously, we were all having a good time. This was just a little pre-party partying going on. Gotta love when the ladies party.

Jen, me, and Laura. I think we were definitely ready to go at this point.

Gotta love college memories.

Courtesy of Dad

2008-03-28T21:05:00.003-05:00

Every now and again I like to remind people where I get my personality, character, strong will, intelligence, and my humor from. The following is an email I received from my father regarding the upcoming Earth Day on April 22nd. If you are a friend of the environment, you might find this offensive. If, however, you are a friend of the environment that has a great sense of humor, you'll laugh your ass off after reading this. :) Enjoy.

"Beff / Brad -

Yes, yes, yes, it's happening yet again - April 22nd. This year, to celebrate we've decided to host a neighborhood party. We'll be having Surf and Turf dinner (whale and American Buffalo) and for those would rather eat feathered friends we, of course, will have the standard Bald Eagle stew.

For those who want to just eat and not stay at the party we will be offering take home in the re heatable throw away virgin plastic containers.

A campfire will be held later in the evening using imported Rain Forest Trees and the fire will be use refined imported crude oil for the kindling.

To make sure we have enough room for everyone we will of course cut down all those American Chestnut and Elm trees that have been in the backyard for the last 75 to 100 years and will also use them in the bonfire. The paving company will be able to asphalt the area well before time for the party kick off.

Special parking areas will be set aside for those who drive Hummers - like the Smiths and Jones families that live about a half mile away. Ron Smith has offered to pipe in the music from his Bose speakers mounted in his Hummer and will keep the vehicle idling and in park so that the battery doesn't drain.

Glacier water drinks are available to all in the clear plastic bottles. Norm Jones is having them flown in by helicopter during the event and will bring in one case at a time so that we can have an opportunity to take pictures.

For those of you who get overheated by the bon fire we will set up a tent with air conditioners - keeping the main flap open so that you can enjoy the fire of course.

And for those of you who still get a slight chill in the evening we will have the white leopard skin throws that Arthur Jones shot this year on safari. (if you remember how much you liked the white tiger skins you will find these even more enjoyable.)

Remember, through your generosity and contributions, last year's event hosted by the Warners' raised over $12 which was given to that guy who stands at our Interstate entrance with the sign that says, "Army Vet".

Hope you can make it.

Love,
Your Nature Loving Dad"

I found this.....

2008-03-27T21:22:00.003-05:00

I was trying to create a playlist for my iPod that I could exercise to and I realized there were still a ton of songs that I had no idea who sung them. So I was listening to the song lyrics and typing them into Ask Jeeves.com and I came across this particular blog posting. I thought it was rather humorous and I'm sure you'll be able to tell what genre of music I can't remember any of the artists' names.

http://poplicks.com/2006/09/do-not-get-your-freak-on.html

:)

USPS

2008-03-13T15:52:00.002-05:00

Today, I went to the post office. I sent the first of what will be many packages to my brother in Iraq. I put some fun things in it too and part of it was going to be posted on this blog, but I can't figure out how to convert my file. I did, however, receive a lecture from the postal worker today. He told me I couldn't cover up and reuse a priority box because it's a service that the post office provides for people. My box was covered in brown paper and the original box wasn't even showing. I assume he guessed that the box was a priority box which is why he asked. Hmmm.......so I'm not allowed to REUSE this box for whatever I want? He said that my package would be mailed priority anyway and that was my only option for mailing to an APO address. So I'm still confused what difference that makes. He even put a priority mail sticker on my package after I filled out the white form. He proceeded to tell me that I only pay for the shipping to New York and that the military pays the shipping to actually get it to my brother. Isn't the Army paid from government funds? Do I pay taxes? THEN I AM PAYING FOR THE SHIPPING TO IRAQ AND THE BOX IT'S BEING SHPPED IN!!! I OWN THAT BOX!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel better now.

Please excuse my outburst. No pictures are accompanying this blog, but next time I hope to have figured out how to post a video from my computer. I will figure out how to convert the file to be viewable by all. For now, thanks for listening. Oh, and I might start podcasting soon if anyone would like to hear my voice. ;)

I'm so ashamed!

2008-03-03T21:30:00.003-05:00

Obviously, I have been M.I.A. from the blogging world. I haven't felt like I've had anything blog worthy recently. Also, I don't like that the pictures I post online are not quality. I have a nice "aim and shoot" digital camera, but it doesn't take the quality of pictures that I want to present on a blog. I want to commit myself to blogging regularly, but let me tell you that that can be a chore.

Does anyone ever feel that way? I want to write and post pictures, but I don't want it to be uninteresting. Maybe I should be thinking about what I really want to accomplish with this blog. Do I want this to be a medium by which people can keep up with my life? Do I want this to be a form of story telling? Do I want this to be the means by which I can develop myself as a person? Maybe this can be all these things, but I just can't seem to focus on one thought. Recently, I've felt like I can't seem to focus myself on one task. Not that I've ever been good at focusing on one thing at a time, but I feel more scatter brained than ever. It's kind of frustrating as I have a lot going on and my list never seems to end.

So, I must pose a question to you guys. How do you keep things organized in your life? Do you consciously tell yourself to pick up the clothes from the floor? Do you send out bill payments as soon as the bill arrives? Do you divvy up tasks to people in your household? Are things written down anywhere? Do you utilize calendars or date books?

I'm just curious to know if there's a system that I can easily put into place because I seem to always be behind. So far, the best that I have is a great spreadsheet on Excel that my husband uses to budget our finances. I'm thinking I need to make checklists for everything else, too. It might sound silly, but I'm a very visual person and having very strict guidelines (in some instances) are very helpful. Let me know what you guys do as anything might help me out.

What Is Your Excuse?

2008-01-10T20:08:00.000-05:00

Seriously? What's your excuse? My excuse is that I'm going to stick to my New Year's resolution. I've never really had one and this year I have two.

1. Own a home (big step)
2. Start my own business on Etsy.

Gasping for Air...literally.

2007-12-01T00:46:00.001-05:00

There was a moment at work tonight when I had to stop and catch my breath....literally. Right now, I'm sitting here with a sore throat and tomorrow, my ribs might be a little tender, too.

The circumstances were these:
1. I was at work.
2. I was at the customer service desk
3. My immediate manager and some guests were around
4. I was laughing
5. Then I wasn't

Thanks to my manager being at the service desk with me, I lived through today. He had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me to dislodge a rather large peppermint. You know the feeling when something gets stuck in your throat, but you can get it out? Well, that's what I thought had happened until I stopped breathing. All I was able to do was wave my arms to get him to help me out. Because we normally joke around he didn't think I was serious at first. He just kind of patted my back until he realized I really needed his help. Apparently, my face started turning blue. I kept thinking, as he was giving me the Heimlich, "I hope that he knows how to do this. What if he doesn't? He'll have to call someone else over and I can't scream for help! I might die!"

When the mint finally popped out I just buried my face in my hands and started crying. I left the floor and made my way back to my office where my friend and coworker was. She was a little stunned until I explained what happened. Not that she wasn't open arms when she saw that I was crying.

You know that part in the movie Ground Hog Day where Billy Murray gives the mayor the Heimlich maneuver? You know how the food just pops out of his mouth onto the table? Well, that's exactly what the mint did. I mean, that thought kind of popped into my head right after I saw the mint land on the floor. I was kind of weird, but it was a relief. So, if you are ever in doubt of what happens, it just kind of shoots out of your mouth if the person has done it correctly. I also forgot to take advantage of the 3-second-rule. Yeah, can you believe that?

What I've learned from this is that I will never take mints from someone I don't like in the first place. I will not laugh while sucking on some kind of hard candy or eating any kind of food ever again. Drinking water does not help my throat. I get a bit hysterical when looking death in the face. I lived and I'm grateful to be here.

Make me cry, why don't cha!

2007-11-30T11:49:00.000-05:00

So, as some of you know, I do not subscribe to cable television. Nor do I have my television connected to local television stations. For the past three years this has been the case and I can't say that I'm sorry about that. I do still watch tons of movies and I am able to keep up with some popular shows via the internet.

Thanks to ABC's full prime time episodes, I am able to watch shows that I never thought I'd like. I am a die hard fan of Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Brothers & Sisters, and now, Pushing Daisies. Among those shows are some good reality shows that I just can't help watching. I have a guilty pleasure, here: Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. I cannot stop watching that show and every single episode I have watched has made me cry.

I do not cry while watching movies or television. However, in the past year or two I seem to become weepy while watching the tube and I can't help myself. This show touches peoples' lives in a way that others cannot. It gives hope and a sense of security and comfort to people in unfortunate situations. These people have gone through turmoil, pain, and suffering, but still find a way to give back to others who are even less fortunate than they are. This last episode was heart wrenching and if you are in a fragile state, I do not recommend watching it.

My point is that seeing people with this kind of strength is an inspiration in my life. While I would never wish for a tragedy to set my life on course, it helps to draw from people who understand how to overcome the strife. I'm just saying that life isn't so bad when you see what other people have to go through. It makes me grateful for what I have and what I go through each day. This holiday season is a time when people should be celebrating and thanking and being kind, so let's draw that out of each other. Thanks for your time. :)

What I Am.

2007-11-28T18:38:00.000-05:00

I am many things. Every year around this time I come to realize more about myself. I like to reflect on the past year and remember the lessons I have learned. There are so many lessons to learn and I value and cherish each one. Though I can't recall all lessons down to the minute, I've come to some realizations about myself. Of course, those of you who know me are probably able to nod in agreement with my "discoveries".

I am stubborn. Maybe it's a form of determination (at least, I like to think it is) that keeps me going on a daily basis. Though I can get discouraged easily, when I have time to reflect and relax, I bounce back rather easily.

I've also determined that I am a sensitive and emotional person. Why have I never realized that? WHY? I know why. It's because if you tell me I'm sensitive then I start to become sensitive and defensive about me not being either one of those things. Uh...I guess I can take that as a confirmation of truth. Some of you out there are thinking "What a ding dong! I knew that about you Beth!"

Maybe these are some of my character flaws, but with these flaws come strength. Recently (within the last two months), I started working for a new company. I've had to deal with people and situations that I haven't had to deal with before. My boss has been extremely encouraging and pushy in trying to get me to break out of my shell and realize my potential. You guys know that I'm not entirely shy, but standing up to people hasn't always been easy for me. Generally, when faced with a bully I let myself be pushed around. In my current work situation that isn't an option and I've been forced to push back. As some of my fellow workers have pointed out to me before, I look rather young and so that tends to work against me in my management position. I have to overcome two obstacles: the bully and my age. Believe me it's been a challenge, and I still have a ways to go, but I'm making headway. I hate that confronting people makes my heart race and my voice quaver a bit. Maybe you guys have experienced the same thing, but it always takes me a minute to bounce back.

I love making people laugh. Seriously, that is one of my greatest pleasures. I make faces, do silly dances, make jokes, sing normal sentences to make life a musical, and laugh whenever possible. I am an entertainer once you get to know me or maybe even before. Here's a little band story for you. No, it doesn't start with "this one time at band camp". My senior year in high school I had the pleasure of being a drum major. I absolutely loved standing on the podium with 160 band members on the front yard line looking up at me feeling the pressure of competition on their shoulders. Once they started to move into their first set I would make faces at them. I could see some smiles while they began to play and relax a bit. I know it's a silly story, but it was always kind of a rush.

I am so glad to be sharing this with all of you. I know I've been M.I.A recently and but I'm anxious to get back here. Most of what this blog has been for me is a way to release and vent about things. It's been about sharing and discovering and I'm happy to be a part of this world, no matter how infrequent I may join it.

Holy Mackeral!!!

2007-11-08T20:38:00.000-05:00

"Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness!" (20 points to the first person to correctly identify the movie that quote comes from)

I can't believe I've been MIA for almost two months. I have neglected everyone and I am trying to make this my outlet when I need a destresser. I have completed my third week at my new job and my boss wasn't lying when he told me we would "hit the ground running." Seriously, he hasn't stopped saying that. That and the fact that he's going to buy me a Barbie Power Wheels to get me to work. >:(

I'm going to make this a short post, but I'll post some fun stuff to keep you interested. I'm completely addicted to Pushing Daisies! It reminds me of the kinds of movies I used to watch as a kid and I love that everything is so bright and the plot is kind of twisted. Plus, I am so captivated by the silly love triangle between Chuck, Ned, and Olive. Not that it's really a triangle as Chuck and Ned have mutual feelings for one another.

I started reading The Golden Compass and I've been meanin to read that since July. Thanks to Kristine and Kirstin both telling me that it was way more amazing than Harry Potter, I'm very excited to get further than chapter 3. I already find it more intelligently written and detailed. It's not that I'm bashing Harry Potter because all of you know I'm H.P. crazy!!! Hopefully, the movie will live up to my expectations. I just don't think all books have translated well on screen and some times, it's best to leave them alone. On the other hand, if I think of the book and the movie as two separate entities, then I have absolutely no problems watching visualized version.

I have no good pictures to post, but maybe I'll take a few minutes for myself and get to it. Otherwise, come on down to my place of work (well, if you live in the area that is) and play with some toys with me (not the Aqua Dots!)

Hang in with me peeps!!!

Decisions, decisions.

2007-09-20T08:55:00.000-05:00

Firstly, thank you all for your reassuring comments. I'm happy to know that people are actually reading my blog (even without pictures posted). This last week was rather stressful and I'm happy to say that it is now over.

I have decided not to pursue a career with Whole Foods. While their company is always in the Forbes 100 top companies list, this particular stores' dealings with my co-workers and I does not impress me. I am embarrassed for Whole Foods for treating some of my co-workers in the manner that they have and not too surprised. All the people who have stayed at Wild Oats stayed because they did not see themselves working for Whole Foods. People did not see a future there or want to work in a store as large as the one down the street. For many of the reasons customers claim they do not enjoy shopping there, many of the employees have had the same concerns. Of course, their feelings extend a little further than, "Are you going to carry Wild Oats peanut butter over there?"

After most of the job offers have been handed out and seeing how displeased many people are it did not leave me enthused to go over there. I know I was in a bit of turmoil for a minute, but it lasted briefly and I have not changed my mind since. My fear with that company is that there would be no room for me to go anywhere without me leaving the state and I find that frustrating and irritating. I chose to move to Maine so I have no plans for leaving it at all. Plus, I have no car to leave it with.

Anyway, my decision is set in stone and I am happy with my choice. I will be working for my old boss at a store which I will not name. I will only tell you that a giraffe some times resides in the logo.

In other news, I'm a crafting QUEEN! I promise I will post pictures very soon. I'll tell you Saturday that way I will set myself a deadline. I've been using up yarn and refashioning some clothes. Woohoo! I might even post a video blog for you guys!

I will not vamoose again!

2007-09-11T07:11:00.000-05:00

This is a pictureless post, so please bear with me.
    Recently, I have been in the throws of life. For the past seven months of my life, I have been worrying and thinking about whether or not I would have a job. Granted, I've been working in retail so it shouldn't bother me that much, but I have enjoyed the opportunities I've had while working at my current job. Whole Foods and Wild Oats have officially merged. My store is officially closing. There is no closing date as of yet, but it frustrates me to no end to think about it.
    Each day since the news broke, I've dreaded going to work to answer customer questions and respond to stupid comments. "I'm so sad to hear you're closing. When do the sales start?", "So is it official?", "I don't like it over there [at Whole Foods]. It's too big." I just don't care to talk about it alllllllllllllllllll the time. How do you even respond to some of these comments? I'm quite sick of it and I wish people would just shut up.
    Thankfully, Whole Foods is absorbing all of our staff members if they want to work there. I have a meeting/interview with them tomorrow to discuss where I would like to work over there. I'm just not sure I want to work there. I can't help but think about it all the time either. I don't like being consumed with thoughts of, "What next? Will I like it? Is it worth it? Is it time for a change? Will I like the people?". I know that if I go there I will succeed. I try really hard at what I do now, but I don't know if I'll like the environment. I know most of it is my perception of things and my attitude towards them. I am trying to think positively, but I'm also trying to be honest with myself. That's so hard to do.
    The past four mornings I have even been dreaming about it. I can't help but think that something bad will happen. My biggest fear is that I want to be counted. How silly is that thought? I want to be noticed. I mean, could I be sillier than that? I just want to make sure that all the work I've put into Wild Oats for the past year will be noticed and understood if I go to Whole Foods. I have a college degree and I'm a energy-driven individual. Please, allow me the chance to do what it is you want me to do with the attention to detail that I give things and you will not be let down.
    I'm nervous about talking to someone from over there as I tend to get a bit tongue tied when I want to express myself verbally. Also, I only have a half an hour and what if I don't mention the important stuff? How do you explain to someone who you are? You just can't explain that.
    I am clearly stressed about all this and I'm not the only one. I hate feeling selfish over this when I haven't worked for the company as long as some people. I feel so conflicted as I think that I should be selfish since it affects my life and where I might be in the future. I expected to stay at Wild Oats and move up, but without there being any other locations nearby there wasn't a lot of opportunity to go anywhere. There might be more of a future for me to be promoted with Whole Foods.
    As a side note, these thoughts go through my head about a thousand times a day. They never stop. They never slow down. I think this way on a consistent basis and it can get rather tiring. Even when I'm not stressed, excitement takes over and I can't stop. Ah, well. That is me, or rather, a part of me. Maybe you guys can make sense of my thoughts for me. If you can, please just write a one paged typed essay or a nice paragrpah, double spaced, Comic Sans font, size 14. I like the words big for better reading enjoyment.

"A much more accomplished woman than I."

2007-08-28T07:30:00.001-05:00

     This time last year, my husband and I were packing up and driving from Ohio to Maine. What a trek that was! I still can't believe that in a few days it we'll have lived here for one year. Yes, I'm still glad we made the move, though a little down trodden that we jumped right into working and took no time for play. But, alas! There is cause for celebration.
     About a year and a half ago I became very intrigued by "being green." I had never heard the phrase and I knew little about being environmentally friendly. With the help of It's Easy Being Green I became instantly obsessed with absorbing as much information as I could. I feel that I have grown so much since I started learning more about the environment, and living in Portland has only helped me out.

     There are a few things that I do regularly now and so much more that I plan on doing that I get giddy thinking about it. Maybe you'll catch my enthusiasm and try some of the things I've tried and still practice.
                                                            The List
1. I donated my car to Volunteers of America. We became a one car family.
2. My husband and I both recycle. We've become really good at recycling almost everything. Glass jars, plastic bottles, milk jugs, junk mail, and randomn plastic. We're pretty lazy about taking it to recycling, but because there are bottle redemption centers all over, it's fun to let the redeemable ones pile up and then get your money back for it.
3. We unplug every appliance that we can. The only things that are left plugged in are the refrigerator, washer, dryer, and maybe one lamp. Everything else gets unplugged so as not to waste energy. Surpringly, our electricity bill is significantly less thanks to doing that.
4. We bring our own grocery bags to the store.

We've (as in me) have begun to bring them to non-grocery stores. It's interesting to see people's reactions to reusable bags when the store is all about the paper or plastic. Try it, it's fun!
5. I bike or walk to work when I can. I walked to work pretty much all winter in below freezing temperatures and have recently purchased a bike. Maybe now I won't freeze my butt off for so long!
6. I started working for a company that boasted ideals like mine. Sadly, that company no longer exists as of today, but it was an honor to work for them. It makes me want to search for more companies like that, or strive to help other businesses become environmentally friendly. I've been making changes at my current job, but there is so much to be done.
7. My husband and I have changed the kind of food we buy. I pushed him into some of it and we still do buy some conventional items. On the whole, we buy natural or organic when we can. While buying local is still difficult, we try to do that as well. I can't even begin to name all the cool local products around here, but there are tons!
8. We no longer use any paper towels. We stopped usining them after a month or so of moving here. We fell into that one as we didn't want to buy another roll of paper towels. Thankfully, we have tons of dishrags and cloth towels to more than make up for it. It's much nicer to pop the dirty towels in the washing machine anyway.
9. We switched to natural laundry detergent and I would never let us go back to anything else. While there are probably even greener alternatives, this happens to suit us just fine.
10. Switching over to natural cleaning products has proved a bit more difficult than I would have thought. I do realize now that I did not properly dispose of our convention cleaning products when we switched over. However, we enjoy our lavender countertop spray. I'm not the only one to use it either. :)
*I must interject at this point. Most of these decisions were decisions instigated by me. I got resistance when getting rid of my car, explaining about environmental issues, unplugging everything (until he saw the difference from our first electricity bill to our second), and buying natural food alternatives. Thankfully, he has a willing mind and heart and he did not put up too much resistance once we gained momentum.

11. I have made a decision to not buy any new clothes. I can only buy used, alter, or refashion the clothes I currently own. It's not too difficult for me as I have always had an aversion to shopping (too many people), but there are times when I have an itching to try something new on. If that's the case then I'm trying to buy sustainable cool products.
12. We both donate tons of stuff to local charities. Granted, most of it is mine to give away, it still makes me feel good when we do it. I'm still trying to cut down my crafting collection so it won't be such a huge deal when we move again. I also find people I know to see if they're interested in some of the things I have. I've become a part of Portland Freecycle to unload some of my stuff. It's a lot of fun to browse and see what other people are offering, too.
13. We even converted our dogs to some degree. When they do get baths we use Shea Pet shampoo and conditioner. It's really concentrated, so we use next to none of it when they get all squeaky clean and it smells GREAT! We tried changing their food to a more natural alternative , but it didnt' agree with their systems and so they're still eating Iams.

     I'm so proud of the changes we've made so far. I have many more ideas for the future, but I won't post them so you can anticipate what's to come. Most of the ideas I have are related to remodeling a home in some form or fashion. Of course, we won't have a house of our own until next year.

Scool days.....Ah, the memories.

2007-08-14T10:07:00.001-05:00

A few days ago I came across some college memorbilia that made me laugh. I had to share the randomness with my former roommie as she understands all of it. Thanks to us collaborating most of the time we came up with some very interesting and "specific" goals for our junio or senior year in college. We devised ways to entertain ourselves when the Ice Storm hit and we were without power for a few days. We had many good times and I'd like to share with you, my few readers, some of it. Being a sorority girl, we had a silly tradition of making construction paper signs for pretty much every occasion. When something would happen or not happen, we would make a sign using magazine clippings, glue, and our ingenious to stick on another sister's door. It leads to many laughs and happy moments because it was always nice to come back from class or wake up in the morning to see what people had stuck on your door for you.
Jenny and one of our other roommates, Angie, made this fabulous sign for my birhtday. It cracked me up because I know it probably took about twenty minutes of thought and it gives me a lifetime of laughs. Tee hee!

I'm not a very good writer, but I'm an excellent rewriter. ~James Michener

2007-08-12T20:02:00.000-05:00

Have you ever considered the interpretation of words? I mean to say that a phrase or a word has so many meanings depending on who is reading it that it's incredible that people understand one another at all.

I took this photo when I was in high school. I will not tell you where it was taken or what it means, but you decide. I love it because it speaks to me. I will not tell you how it speaks to me, but it does. What do you think of "Silent Thunder"?

A Woman of Her Word

2007-08-03T12:08:00.000-05:00

I promised my friend, Tristan, that I would post an embarrassing picture of him from middle school. Of course, it's not the only picture I have of him, but it's the farthest back I could find. But I am a kind woman, and I will teach myself a lesson in humility and post several other pictures to then embarrass myself. I know, I'm a fool. Without further ado,I prsent to you: My Pictures.
Alright, we're in 7th grade here. It's one of the school dances where it was always cool to get group photos taken with your friends. I can't remember pretty much anybody's name in that picture, but Tristan is the guy in the middle. :)
Embarrassing picture #1: My best friend and I were at my house and decided to tease our hair and do wonderful things with our make up. I love it!
Here is Hannah looking pretty scary, too. Seriously, scary.
Embarassing picture #2: This was one of those spirit week days. I was a freshman in high school and it was "Wacky Wednesday".
I do feel that I have posted enough of the embarrassing pictures...for the day. So, for those of you who know me, you'll know that these pictures are nothing unusual. Enjoy your Friday.

Go Army!

2007-07-31T20:18:00.000-05:00

    As you might have been able to tell by my last post, I am now able to scan pictures into my computer. I've had this printer for about two years and I was never able to do that. Now that I downloaded a patch from the HP website, I'm home free to scan pictures like CRAZY!
    In lieu of my scanner I have become a little nostalgic and, only slightly, sad and worrisome. Okay, maybe more than slightly. I love to see pictures of my family and especially my brother. For some reason he and I have this weird brotherly/sisterly bond and we actually like each other. I know, it's not so weird to like your siblings when you get older, but I swear he liked me from birth. Actually, it was really because he thought Mom was having puppies and not another baby. Anyway. I've been thinking about him being in the Army and how he will be going to Iraq. Albeit, it's not until Februrary, but that's 6 months away and that seems really close to me. While he is ready to go and defend the country, he's my brother and I would prefer him to be in the United States doing paperwork. Honestly, it's kind of hard for me to type this right now because my chest is tightening up a bit, but I will surge foward. Besides, if I don't continue, then you can't see how much fun my brother is. I came across some pictures of the two of us from not so long ago.
    I am trained in all forms of martial arts (not really) and he knows kickboxing, tae kwon do, karate, and tai chi (actually, none of that's true).

READY! FIGHT!

What is true is that that fight really took place. I actually beat him and lived to tell about it. Yes, it's true.

BLOGIVERSARY

2007-07-27T10:46:00.000-05:00

    Happy Blogiversary to ME! Two days ago I should have celebrated my two year mark for starting this blog. I can't believe it's been two years. I have, however, improved the look and the feel of my blog since I started. I post more frequently than I did two years ago. I try to include many pictures as that is one of the things I enjoy the most about reading other people's blogs. I have not acquired many readers though.
    If you're lurking out there in blog land and you happen to be reading this now, please make yourself known. I like writing for myself, but writing for myself and knowing that other people are reading it is pretty satisfying. Regardless, I'm proud of my journey thus far and I will surge onward by continuing to build a strong base audience (you guys know who you are).
    So, thanks for reading and I'll leave you with a little bit of nostalgia...at least for me. Guess who it is!

What everyone is talking about.

2007-07-12T21:02:00.001-05:00

I know it's the talk of the town right now, but I must add my sentiments. I feel very strongly about the Harry Potter series. Strongly, in the sense that emotions are evoked in me which I normally reserve for notable situations. I just finished rereading Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince for the second time. It upsets me so much and there is nothing I can do about it. I hurt along with Harry and I feel so badly that Dumbledore no longer has an existence in the wizarding world. I have only read the last book twice and I remembered less than I thought. There are so many questions inside this last book that I doubt will ever be answered. There are still so many questions from the previous 5 books that have been unanswered as well.

I want Harry to live. I want Lord Voldemort to die. I want Severus Snape to have been acting under Dumbledore's orders. I want Draco Malfoy to dissassociate with the Dark Arts. I want Harry to have the chance to really pursue Ginny Weasley and for Ron to pursue Hermione. I want to see them all learn more about magic than they ever thought they would and use it wisely. I want them to find the remaining horcruxes and destroy them. I want them to gain the help of whoever R.A.B. is.

Doesn't it feel horrible when you come to the end of something so good? You want to know that what makes you feel so comfortable and safe is always going to be there. You want to know that things will always continue in that same manner without diviation. Dumbledore was warm, smart, powerful, and respected by most people. While many disagreed with him and his views he was wise, probably more than even he realized. Why should Harry have to suffer the loss of every single person that cares about him? Why can't he actually be "The Boy That Lived"? Will he fight Voldemort and live? I know they will come face to face, but who is going to help him this time? The last time he met up with Voldemort, Dumbledore saved him from death. Everything Harry has done to survive has been out of sheer luck or from heavily leaning on another, smarter wizard or witch. Will Harry's love save him?

One of the weirdest things about reading book 6 is that there are some ~~Lord of the Rings tendencies~~ themes in it that are similar to other books. Every true remembered hero has absolutely no idea what he's really doing until the very end. The hero is chosen absurdly and without his or her knowledge. They do not want to be handed this horrible and fatal task. It becomes a burden and it leaves a scar. Maybe literally. He defeats evil through some form of love or caring. Caring about something that means more than himself, that is.

This is the end or the beginning for Harry Potter. I don't know which and I will surely be devastated either way. Neither direction is the direction I want for Harry, Ron, Hermion, and even Ginny. I have become attached to them and their ways and woes. Until next time, it is only 8 more days of anticipation until Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is in my hands.

Like father like daughter.

2007-06-27T22:53:00.000-05:00

        Some of you may have heard tales about my father. Some of you have even met and spent time with my father. One of the things that most people can remember about my dad is his sense of humor. I mean, he passes out $2 bills to all of my "friends". I am definitely carved from the same tree and you wouldn't doubt for a moment after meeting him, that I was his child. And no, I'm not adopted like he's been telling me for years.

        The following is something that he completely made up for me and three of my friends. The last time I went to the beach with some high school friends and our moms, my dad came too. He felt the need to give us some guidelines on how to spend that vacation. Read the following carefully. It may crop up in your memory at random times and bring upon uncontrollable laughter.

RULES –

Post In Prominent Place

1. There shall be no smoking in Bed!

2. Curfew is 10:00 p.m. Eastern Time. That means back to condo LIGHTS OUT and ASLEEP by 10:30 p.m.

3. Use of Bathroom in morning is in alphabetical order – Alice, Meghan, Andrea, and Beth – (for those of you who are mathematically challenged.)

4. Wake up is at 6:30 a.m. for the morning run with the parents. This is entirely voluntary and optional. If you don’t want to go on the run that’s okay. (The automatic 220-Volt electrical shocks to the bedsprings won’t occur until 6:35 a.m. in any event.)

5. No snoring.

6. No making remarks or ogling the male lifeguards.

7. No drinking of more than three alcoholic beverages before noon. (one beverage counts for EACH of the following – 48 ounce pitcher of beer, a box of wine, a fifth of Wild Turkey)

8. Only one-piece bathing suits permitted on the beach. One piece is defined as totally opaque, heavy wool material that totally covers body from ankles to top of head. (For picture – look in June 1999 issue of National Geographic, page 149.) Gloves optional.

9. Sun Tan Rules – Must use SPF of 250 or higher and not be exposed to sun more than 20 minutes total in any one day.

10. Toothbrushes shall NOT be shared.

11. Evening bathroom privileges are height order – tallest to shortest – Meghan, Alice, Beth, Andrea.
*Side note: Andrea is 5' 7" and the rest of us are around 5' 2".

12. If you behave properly – scoring system secret and totally subject to the discretion of judges – you MAY be permitted to wax Bob’s car. But only if each of you are really, really good.

13. No eating in bed. – Exceptions – Garlic Flake Potato Chips, Toasted Marshmallows and S’mores, Peanut Butter and Sardine sandwiches.

14. No yelling out car windows or over balcony such things as, “Woo, woo,” “Hey, look at these,” or “I’ll show you these for those Mardi Gras beads.”

15. No visits to tattoo parlors (unless they also sell stained glass.)

16. No new body piercings – you each have more than enuff holes.

17. Driving privileges – ONLY ADULTS will be allowed to operate vehicles. Adult is defined as follows:

    a. Has had no alcohol in the last 371 hours
    b. Is over the age of 21
    c. Has at least three forms of picture id
    d. Passes the daily written exam on driving safety

18. Swimming safety rules.

    a. No entering the water (including showers and bathtubs) if food (including brushing teeth) has occurred within the last hour.
    b. Coast Guard approved safety devices must be worn at all times when within 30 feet of water (yes, this includes the shower) These must be able to support at least two people each of which weigh more than 212 pounds AND be International Fluorescent Orange (not UT Orange) in color.

19. It is understood that each of you are individuals and that at times you individually want to do something by yourself, but due to the fact that the US has raised the Alert Level to Greenish Blue please adhere to the following rules:

    a. Individuals are defined as a group of four or more. Groups LESS than four is NOT permitted outside of the sight of one or more approved parents.
    b. Contact information
        i. Each of you shall carry and have in the “on” position at least two cell phones
        ii. Each of you shall carry and have in the “on” position at least one pager.
        iii. Global Positioning Devices shall be worn at all times (written exceptions are permitted but must be signed by at least two parents.) These shall be registered with the US Office of Global Devices and Stuff.
        iv. If you do not answer cell phone by second ring, pager within 14 seconds of message being sent, or if GPS device is out of service for more than 1.2 milliseconds you should expect a parent calling 911 and don’t be surprised if a SWAT team surrounds you. (Just be sure to drop all weapons.)

20 No unauthorized visitors to your rooms.
    A. Unauthorized means ANYONE
    B. See “A” above.

21 Each of you should memorize these rules. It may be easier to study as a group. Written exam will be given in morning.
    a. Sample questions:
            i. How many of the Rules start with a Vowel versus a Consonant?
            ii. Is it more important to turn on your pager or to have world peace (essay question – answers must be hand written and no longer than 2,000 words and no less than 1,200 words.)
            iii. If you see one of the others in our group breaking a rule which is the best answer?
                A. Yell their name out loud and scream, “Fatty, fatty, two by four.”
                B. Take a picture with camera to prove they were breaking a rule.
                C. All of the above
                D. Tell Parent immediately
                E. All of the above NOW
                F. Throw some cold water on them
                G. Throw some cold water on yourself
                H. NOW all of the above
                I. Pretend you didn’t see them breaking the rule and use it as blackmail in case you ever break a rule.

I couldn't stop laughing after I found this yesterday. If you feel the need to share, go right ahead.

Spirituality and Your Inner Being

2007-06-26T01:59:00.000-05:00

I feel so moved when I hear this particular artist singing. I believe that talent comes in many forms and he is a extraordinary example. This particular musical artist is so connected with himself and his body that listening to him is a rare, beautiful occurence. Seriously, I'm completely moved by him.

Please watch this video before you finish reading the rest of this particular post. I am actually pleading with you to open your mind and enjoy his performance.

That puts a huge smile on my face. A HUGE SMILE! I cannot imagine how Bobby McFerrin discovered he was a musical genius, but I'm glad he did. I grew up listening to "Don't Worry Be Happy" on a cassette tape from the movie soundtrack Cocktail. I played that song over and over on My First Sony Cassette Player when we traveled. I think my brother got annoyed with me for singing out loud. Listening to Bobby always makes me think of my childhood and I love that he gives me that sense of nostalgia and security.

Now, he gives me a sense of openness. I love that he commands an audiences' attention and is completely confident in what he does. It makes me feel as if I can do anything. Maybe that's going a bit too far for some people, but don't you ever feel that way about music? Aren't there songs that you can just feel inside your mind that makes you want to express yourself? Isn't there ever a time when the music iss so compelling that you want to burst with zeal? I mean, why wouldn't you want to do that normally? It's so difficult to capture that kind of existence in yourself, but music can help you in that endeavor. Don't you think? There are so many chances to be happy in life and Bobby tells it like it is. He says, "Don't worry, be happy." Hakuna matata. Forget about it. There are so many ways to say what can be conveyed in one song.

I'm on my soap box right now and I'm staying here...until you join me. I want you to be right here with me sharing my joy. We can't all be happy one hundred percent of the time, but we can help each other to try to be happy most of the time. We are our own joys and sorrows in life. Share, my friends. Share.

And another thing....

2007-06-17T20:30:00.002-05:00

I'm really starting to enjoy blogging. I always want to improve my blog, but more importantly, I'm always wanting to share myself. To some, it might not seem like I'm shy, but I don't like sharing everything. I tell people things that I would tell anyone until you get to know me. One day you'll know what I love and don't love. One day I'll share my fears with you. I want to be open on my blog and that's something I'm working on.

I'm reminded that I thought of something that Jake and I can concentrate on every week. Once a week we pick from a deck called 52 Ways to Simplify Your Life. We have been taking turns choosing a card and we both seem to enjoy it. Week one's card was "Make Something". We chose to make a loaf of bread. It was kind of fun to actually get back in the kitchen and do that. We've been making changes in our lives to have a better quality of life and I truly feel this is a "simple" way to achieve it. Try it out some time and you might be surprised with the results.

Undomestic Goddess

2007-06-17T20:30:00.001-05:00

After reading Sophie Kinsella’s Undomestic Goddess I don’t feel any differently about life. It’s not really a thought-provoking book. At least, not in the sense that I would choose for a book group discussion. That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy the book. I enjoy “fast reads” like that. This book was all about one woman’s fall from grace in a very high-pressured career world, and her discovery of a more laid-back way of life. A life that still has its demands, but the rewards are more self-fulfilling. I think the questions it raised for me is:

What is the better choice? Who can truly answer this?

By pushing our careers aside and choosing a life of domesticity, are we compromising our rights as women? I personally, don’t feel that we are compromising our “place” so to speak, in this world. Women have fought for their rights and their opinions and I don’t think it’s taking a step back by wanting to put us back in the kitchen. I have many friends with masters degrees whose ultimate goals are to become mothers and housewives. That is their choice. Does choosing a life over a career mean we can’t ever go back to having a career? I don’t feel that if you choose to be a housewife or a stay-at-home mom that you can’t return to a career life. Many women now days do both. Women are working out of their homes and becoming involved in business while still being able to maintain a happy home life. Women have built businesses from the ground up while taking care of child. Should we resent women who choose not to work? NO! Resentment only encourages weakness. Personally, by resenting another woman’s choice, you’re dooming all women to fail. It sounds cliché to say this, but banding together and making sure that women are supported NO MATTER their choices is the only way to ensure that we can keep our freedom. Women are corporate lawyers, shareholders, stockbrokers, waitresses, business owners, doctors, computer geniuses, professors, mechanics, and every other imaginable job you can imagine. To think that, at one time, only men did these professions, you have to give credit where credit is due. Women are able to make the choice to move in and out of the kitchen at will. If I want to be a housewife then I hope I won’t be hated or resented for my choice. In my opinion, who wouldn’t love to be able to do that? Why wouldn’t you want to be able to spend your days maintaining a wonderful home and not having to work a “real” job? The thought that I could stay home and bake and clean and do sewing would be awesome. Is it a natural right as a woman, in this age, to be able to have a choice between domesticity and the working world? I think it is our natural right. I don’t think anyone can tell us we can’t. Even if you’re a die-hard feminist, I don’t think you can say no to that. I don’t think being feminist means you have to hate or begrudge others for their choices. I feel that a woman has a choice to do what makes her happy. I want to be happy and I want that same happiness for everyone.

So, maybe I had more to say on this book, than I actually thought. I guess most of the feelings I have about this book is wonderment and jealousy. I mean, a life where you can decide what you want to do and live how you want to live, sounds great. No corporate person telling you what to do. No reason to make people happy because they feel they’re entitled. No need to be so concerned with money that you couldn’t enjoy life. It’s all good. It is all good.

Anybody Out There?

2007-06-17T20:20:00.001-05:00

I can't tell you all about the book I just read because I liked it so much. It wasn't "chick lit" like I thought it was going to be. In fact, it had a deeper side to it. Ever heard of Marian Keyes? Well, neither had I, not really, until about three days ago. I was searching the library shelves for a new book when I happened across Anybody Out There? on the recommendation shelves. I'm not much for browsing and if the dust jacket doesn't grab my attention in five seconds or less I won't be reading that book that day. Anyway. I want to tell you more about this book, but I'm reading books outside of my Long-Distance Book Club list so that I can pick a good one when it's my turn. Maybe this'll be it. Maybe this wont' be. I do like a good happy ending in books and for awhile I wasn't sure I'd get one. Seriously, it hurts me when there isn't a lot of closure in the sense that I'm used to. Maybe movies make us think of life in some fantastical way, but I still hold fast to happy endings. I don't see any harm in imaging life to better than it is because, in a sense, it will be. Truly! I'd recommend this book to women, but probably not to men. I can relate to teh character because I understand how a woman functions. I also really enjoyed that the main character was Irish and she spoke with an Irish accent. I love reading books where people use their native slang. Well, check it out and see what you think. Enjoy!

(As a side note: I have many posts that are saved, so I will post them one day at a time. Hopefully, you'll find them enjoyable, even without the pictures. I've just been really into writing recently and I'm ready to share that with you)

Wardrobe Refashion

2007-06-07T08:36:00.000-05:00

So, I have been lurking around a particular blog for over a year now and I've finally been able to become a part of it. Wardrobe Refashion is a blog based on values that I'm trying to embrace in life. I spoke of living simpler and this is a huge step in the right direction. So, without further ado:

I, Beth, pledge that I shall abstain from the purchase of "new" manufactured items of clothing, for the period of 6 months. I pledge that I shall refashion, renovate, recycle preloved items for myself with my own hands in fabric, yarn or other medium for the term of my contract. I pledge that I will share the love and post a photo of my refashioned, renovoated, recylcled, crafted or created item of clothing on the Wardrobe Refashion blog, so that others may share the joy that thy thriftyness brings! Signed, Beth.

Here's my first post if you're interested. Every now and again I'll post a little link to that blog so you can see what my current projects are. I probably wont' blog about it on here so I can draw your attention away from here to another fabulous site. I'll be adding a button in my side bar on this blog, too.

I must also say that I have about four posts in my head today. For some reason my brain is working well. I attribute it to the fact that I have internet access 24/7 now. Yeah, I'm addicted again. I think I'm going to have to save some of these posts for others day. Don't you worry though, they'll be fun.

Jake and I rearranged our living rooms or rather large living room a few weekends ago. It was a lot of fun doing it and it really made us feel like we accomplished something. I just wanted to share a few pictures of it to see what you think.
This was where our tv was. The reason the pictures are so sporadic is because those nails were left by our landlord and we never took them down. I plan on hanging more of my dad's framed crosstitch works up, so this won't be the last of this wall you'll see.
We moved my knitting cabinet to this little alcove here. I finally found a home for a special sign that someone made me. :)
This is our cozy tv corner now. Abby has no objection to the location of the sofa. I like where this is all placed because it just tucks it all away.
This is the entire gigantic room all together. BIG! I have no idea what to put on the bookshelf side. If there is something specific you'd like to see that I didn't post, just let me know. I'll post some extra stuff later if you need it. For now, I must be off to work and I must stop blogging. It's just so addicting today.

Family ties

2007-06-07T08:34:00.000-05:00

Lt. Jay and myself. We're related.

The interaction that families have with one another is a huge interest of mine. It falls under that people watching category. Generally, how people interact is just intriguing, but seeing a family function is just plan entertaining. I've been thinking of how it looks to an "outsider" when they step into another family's atmosphere. It's a rather foreign feeling to see differences in your own life and another person's.

I've been thinking about this because my family is unusual. Well, I can't claim that my family is that unusual as I do believe that all families are unique. My family is full of loud and talkative people. There is definitely not a lack of conversation or laughter when we're all together. My immediate family (Mom, Dad, and my brother, Adam) are like peas in a pod. We're very comfortable around each other and we don't hold back our thoughts. I like that way of expressing myself as I feel it's a pretty honest way to converse with others. It holds me accountable as I know someone is going to say something to me immediately if they don't like something. Of course, it can get out of hand, but that's another story for another day.

I remember the first time my husband came to my home, he sat in one of our living room chairs with his feet up to his chest, watching us. My family must have thought he never talked as he just didn't say much. It was a bit of sensory overload I'm sure. Generally, we move from topic to topic with no particular flow to conversation, interrupting one another on a whim. We have to think quickly and talk fast or we may not get to say what we are thinking until we remember it again later. For me and most women I am friends, this is normal way of communicating.

I never realized there was a different way to hold a conversation until I met my husband's family for the first time. Maybe the shock to my husband was that he had never experienced this kind of interaction on such a concentrated level before. I went to his home and everyone waits until it's their turn to speak. Usually the catchphrase is, "Going back to what I was saying before..." There's not interrupting and you must hold your thoughts until you can speak properly. Of course, playing games is an exception to that rule. It's not so much a rule as a polite way for everyone to get a turn in the conversation.

There are two families that I find really enjoyable, similar, and even really different than my own family. My friend J.T. (I will use abbreviations as it's not my place to use their names publically) and my friend K.K. I love being with their families. J.T.'s family is very welcoming. They obviously really enjoy one another and expressing themselves is not a problem. I had never hung out with a family where they would all swear in front of one another and the parents didn't care. Now that is what I call freedom. I had also never experienced such a structured and relaxed family before. They had their routines and schedules, but it didn't feel pressured in anyway. It's a great example of how to be organized without feeling fenced in. I also love that it's easy for J.T. and her brother to say anything they like to their parents. She has a strong bond with them and can tell them absolutely anything. There is complete trust and she and her brother give their parents no reason not to trust them. I love that! Plus, even though I'm like a foot shorter than all of them, they treat me like one of their own. I love that immediately there is love. It's wonderful and no imposing in anyway.

K.K.'s family is another family that I absolutely enjoy. For the longest time I worked with K.K. not knowing that I also worked with her mother. I guess no one told me and I also never remembered people's last names so I did not make the connection. Now, there is a bond with a mother that I wish I had. It's not to say that I don't love my mom or wouldn't hang out with each other, we just tend to take each other in doses and it's probably for the better. At this stage in our lives we're still learning how to talk to one another and there are certain things that are just taboo. Truly,until I met K.K. and her brother I never knew you could say really dirty things in front of parents. I thought it was a law some where. I'm positive I've seen that written in the "Parent Manual". It's not that that's all they say to one another. Do not get that impression it's just that it's not completely illicit. I also love that she and her brother have a strong friend connection. I am really close to my brother and would tell him just about anything (minus some intimate things), but that doesn't seem to phase K.K. and her brother K.K. (I never thought about how their initials are the same). I think it's great! If they were to get into a heated debate about their opinion on something it would just spark the conversation up to a higher level. I love that they have really strong opinions and a really diverse family to support those views on life. I don't know her father as well, but from what I do know of him, he's a handy guy. I admire that they are all extremely intelligent people with extremely intelligent thoughts, but it's never expressed in a way that would make you feel stupid. Plus, who doesn't love a crafty family? Seriously, they're completely creative and I can tell where they get it from.

So, this may conclude my synopsis of other families for now. I just love stepping into other peoples' shoes at times. Every place I go has a new feel and I like trying to find that niche. I like knowing what is and isn't acceptable to some people and seeing how far they go with one another. It's refreshing and beautiful. Don't you think?

Live Simpler

2007-06-01T22:22:00.001-05:00

So, I think a lot about "living lightly" and reducing my "footprint" on the earth. As much as I would love to not have to think about these things and just "do", I'm trying every day to do what I can for Mother Earth. The one task that I focus on constantly, especially now that it's summer, is getting rid of things. By things I mean, thangs. Like, "It ain't no thang, honey!" While de-junking my apartment and deciding what is important to me, I can chant that to myself. You can too if you like. If you say it out loud when you're in a room by yourself, dont' be surprised if someone asks you who you're talking to. Do not feel obligated to explain to said person why, either. It just won't make sense. I promise. Aside from that, I feel so much better when I can actually find a real home for some of the thangs in my apartment. I've given away a lot of my craft supplies, tons of clothing, and other odds and ends that Jake is probably really happy that I no longer have. My plan is to only have to use one measly Uhaul for our next move. Of course, we're not moving until next June, but one must prepare one's self for such events.
That leads me to my motto: Always be prepared. I, personally, try to always be prepared. I bring Band-Aids with me when I travel, an umbrella, extra hair things, and occasionally, safety pins (The last time I had those on me was my senior prom. I actually used them for my own dress since the straps broke while I was swing dancing.) I generally bring snacks with me when I shop since I know I need to eat every few hours. I'm like a little fussy child when I'm not fed regularly. I also like to bring some form of entertainment with me because I dont' want to be bored wherever I am. I did that when I had to wait in line at the post office on tax day this year. All those other fools didn't bring a thing and I got to listen to my iPod and jam to some cool tunes. Enough of this already, you say?
In a few days I will have "real" internet in my apartment and I hope to feel inspired to blog more because of it. Of course, I say this with good intentions knowing that will not really be the case. You just never know though.
One of my goals for the summer is to create usable and comfortable living spaces. My husband and I just rearranged the furniture in our living room and it feels so much better than where we originally had it. Seriously, it made a huge difference in how comfortable I am when I want to relax. Hopefully, I can creat that same feel in our other rooms. "The Other Room" is the hardest space to create, though. We have a tv with stand, a desk, a table with my sewing machine, a coffee table, a wheely desk chair, and a miniaturized easy chair. There's a lot of furniture in one tiny room and absolutely no comfortable place to sit. Odd, huh? It just makes me want to really purge more of my stuff to help out the situation. I'm trying to figure out what I find valuable and what is just an object. I really think I"ve paired down a lot of the stuff in my life. I'm finding that I actually enjoy not buying things and have joined Wardrobe Refashion 2007 to help me with that.
If you have questions, comments, or any points of reference, keep them to yourself. I don't care. JUST KIDDING! :) You're always free to comment.....if you pay me 5 bucks first. HA!

If you sit in Central Park long enough.......

2007-05-17T15:13:00.000-05:00

...every single person in the city will pass you by. If you work on a Central Park Cardigan long enough it'll piss you off, but look fabulous in the end. :)
It is finally finished! Isn't it beautiful?
Okay, I took this hooded picture rather strategically so you can't tell that I sewed it up to where I look like an elf when I put it on my head. It's kind of curved at the top with a little pointed tip, ya know?
Maven loves my cardigan, too. You can tell by the look in her eyes.
The lovely back! Don't you just love those cables? You can stop staring at my butt now, too. It's just embarrassing the way you're gaping like that.
I love these sleeves. They are so toasty!

I know this took me FOREVER to finish, but I am so happy with the end result. It wasn't an overly complicated cardigan and I learned alot from the pattern and how sweater construction works. I tend to stop paying attention when there's a pattern repeat and therein lies my problem. I would make a few changes to it if I ever knit it again. I would like to make it longer and make the wrists a little bigger because they're a tad tight. I sort of winged it and chose not to check my guage. Shame on me! Seriously, it was really fun to knit (after starting it over about 6 times) and the yarn is to die for. I have two balls left over and I have absolutely no idea what to do with them. Any ideas? Okay, so this is Maine and spring is like winter in other places of the United States, so I do have some idea what to knit. I just want something really special out of it. Happy knitting everybody!

Oh, stop it!

2007-05-09T06:47:00.001-05:00

You guys are making me blush at how much you've missed me. Okay, maybe you didn't even know I was gone in the first place. I made a last ditch effort of posting with my egg juggling routine right before I went on vacation. Hopefully, this one will satisfy you for a bit. I"m actually going to take pictures. :)

I was in Florida last week and for part of this week to celebrate my brother's graduation from E.O.D. school (that's Explosive Oridnance Disposal for you non-military understanding type people). He graduated #1 in his class and I couldn't be more proud of him. He's the second on in from the left. That's my brother! The guy on his left is Captain Baker. That's about all I know. We got to see the Eglin Airforce Base which was pretty cool, and it was amazingly hot. It was kind of a shock to experience that coming from Maine. And this is a guy who protects our country. Feeling safe, yet?

This is Brad and he, too was sporting the mullet wig on the beach. He was trying to achieve the classic redneck look and I think he got it. Isn't he a catch? He's single. Any takers?

Seriously, there will be more blogging later today or tomorrow as I took very few pictures with my camera. Actually, all the cool pictures I took were with my dad's camera and he's not releasing those photos yet. What a scumbag! Just kidding!

Eggs-strodinary!

2007-04-30T00:11:00.000-05:00

I know, I'm punny. Realy punny. I'm guessing this picture was taken when I was a freshman in college or something. I remember wearing this shirt, but I don't remember how long I had it.
Please excuse the look on my face as I am clearly trying to imitate my father. If you've ever met my dad then you'll know where I get my sense of humor from. I'm sure I'm making that weird scrunchy, cringy face because I don't want to drop the eggs on myself while juggling. Obviously, I didn't do a very good job because I"m already stepping forward to grab the eggs. :) Good try though! :)

Virginia Tech Makes Me Angry

2007-04-17T20:13:00.000-05:00

You know what? I'm pisssed. I've been reading some of my regular blogs and all anyone can say about the Virginia Tech killings is, "My heart goes out to those that were affected." I wasn't there. I don't know anybody who attends that school. I am affected. I AM AFFECTED. If you aren't affected by it, then where is your head? There are 32 victims dead.

One day you wake up and it's a pretty normalish day. You have a pop quiz in your Sociology 102 class, but you're comfortable with the material so it's no biggie. You're sitting next to the cute guy who also happens to be a Sociology major. It's still pretty early in the morning by college student standards so your'e not really focusing on what the teacher's saying. You heard something about picking partners for groups projects just as the cute guy next to you catches you staring at him. Luckily, he takes that as a sign that you want to be partners, so everything is okay. Just as you are told to break into groups to discuss your assignment the door bursts open and a gun starts firing. Every muscle and fiber of your entire being seizes up and you react by throwing yourself onto the floor of the class room. You knocked over a desk, but at this point, it doesn't matter. The teacher was hit and you think a student two seats away was hit as well. You can't scream or think at this point. All you want is get out of this room alive. You keep thinking how you want to apologize to your mom for being mad at her the last time you talked to her on the phone. The gun continues to thunder and echo off the walls reverberating the sound in your eardrums. You hope that you'll survive this shooting so you can ask that guy out on a date. The noise of the gun fires of several more rounds for what you're sure is hours. It's a an unending noise and panic which you can't react to. The whole time you're down on the floor and hidden behind the desk, you're praying that the next shot won't be you. You're praying that the man behind the metal, isn't looking to make the whole room red. From where you lie now, there are puddles of blood and splashes of burgundy all over the walls and floor. Tears well up in your eyes, but they're trapped as if they know that the sound will disturb the chaos.

Everything stops. Every single thing just stands still in that room for an eternity. There is no movement for minutes. When you lift your head up everything is indeed over. That final crash you heard was that man. That young, heartless man is there on the floor. You're positive it's him, even if you only got a few seconds to process his figure. You recognize the gun. Slowly, and with the effort of someone carrying an anvil, you stand. You scan the room and realize that you are the only survivor. By the grace of the powers above, you are alive. You stand there with the blood rushing to your head and the feeling in your legs giving way and realize that you are living.

The S.W.A.T. team rushes in towards you. At first they point the gun towards you until they realize the gunman lies beneath them. All you can do is stare and focus on the blood and the confusion. It all happened so quickly and so slowly that there is nothing left to process. You can't speak or breath anymore. You will never be able to erase this day and this tragedy from your mind.

So, when people say, "My heart goes out to those who were affected." I was affected. I was not there, but I was affected. 32 people died yesterday because of a madman. I don't know his story and I'm not sure that I want to. Massacres and tragedies like this are publicized for the entertainment of the Nation and the entire world. It's disgusting to think that at the time this was happening, before the second round of shootings was over, there was live footage. LIVE footage for a campus killing so big that the president of the United States of America visited to offer condolences and wisdom. Every incident prior to this is just as grotesque and tragic. Those incidents have been catalysts for people who have not learned or would not try to learn, how to express themselves. Those people can see these inwardly depressed people on television and think to themselves, "Hey, I'm having a bad time at life and I should definitely let people know it in a way that leaves a mark." These people are worthless in the sense that they think they are the only people to ever experience life in such a way. How presumptuous are you to think that you're the only person to have feelings of depression, anxiety, or isolation in a world with millions and millions of people.

I am hurting for these students, faculty, family, and friends that have to feel this situation first-hand. It saddens me to think we live in a world where schools are no longer miniature sanctuaries. You can't look over your shoulder ever time you heard a loud noise, but who knows what's going to happen next. Nobody knows. Bottom line here...give all you've got to every person you meet. There is absolutely not sense in trying to hold a piece of you back or trying to act superior because you feel you should. Who knows what would have happened if this guy had made some genuine friends and found out that people care about people? Who knows? Do you know?

5 Weird Things About Me

2007-04-08T20:35:00.000-05:00

Alright, I've seen this meme floating around the internet and I've been trying to figure exactly what people would consider weird about me. Granted, people consider a lot of things weird about me, but really, these are things that they wouldn't necessarily know in the first place.

5 Weird Things About Me

1. I look for connections in everything. For instance, if I see a row of numbers and I try to find a way to connect them so they make sense. If I'm cashiering, I try to make one transaction "fit" with the next one some how. If two different people buy bananas and apples right after one another, I try to ring them up the same way so they match. I do that a lot so I can keep myself busy. It's the same way with colors. I see material or clothes or beads, or leaves and start matching it to other things in my mind. Maybe that leaf matches a tablecloth I have, or that weed goes really well with that DVD player. I don't know, it's habit forming, I suppose.

2. I am very specific about salsa. By specific, I mean that I will only eat Tostitos Restaurant Style Medium Salsa or my own homemade versions. I have tried many salsas and they all taste gross. Seriously, don't try to get me to eat a salsa that has not been pre-approved by me. It's gross and I won't eat it. If you want to keep your hands, don't dip into my salsa without asking, first. Someone did that to me once and I don't think I've ever really liked her the same since...........

3. I have a very intense fear of seeing my own blood. Actually, just today, I cut my thumb with a Cutco knife and I almost passed out. This cut didn't require stitches or anything, but seeing the blood made me panic. I think this stems from the time I hit my head on the coffee table when I was 3. The only thing I remember about that whole incident is blood, two random people in my house, and the doctor stitching up my eyebrow at the hospital. Looking at other people's blood is just icky, so don't ask me if I want to see your cuts.

4. I have a very unique laugh. Maybe it's not that unique, but I have heard people compare it to Woody the Woodpecker. While it's not unknown that I laugh like a chipmunk, what is unknown, is that it highly offends me when someone tries to imitate my laugh. This, to me, is a very personal part of a human and making fun of or imitating is just seems like you're mocking who I am. It's a part of me so deal with it or laugh louder. :)

Drum rolll for the last and weirdest thing about me.....

5. I like to smell my dogs' ears. I think it started because I have always like rubbing my face on Maven's ears because they're so soft. She has a very distinctive smelly dog ear smell as does Abby. Now, I smell them just because. Besides, they sniff my ears. Don't let them get too close to yours because they definitely like ears.

*As a prize for making is to the bottom of the post, and assuming you clicked my links, who is it that's laughing in #4? *

Happy Birthday to Me!

2007-04-06T00:05:00.000-05:00

Yup, today I make my mark on the world. Today I have been alive for a quarter of a century. Woohoo! That's something to celebrate.

Two nights ago I went out for a Friend's going away party. These photos are evidence that I had a good time. Kristen and I were being goofy and I just couldn't handle the pressure. It was nice to be inside while the snow was coming down hard outside.

After we left Sebago, we needed to take a picture in the park across the street. It was late and snowing and BEAUTIFUL. And I had trouble operating the camera. That's Arlie, sandwiched between Kristen and I. He was very appreciative of that sandwhich, I'm positive.

I hope everyone has as good a Friday as I"m going to. :)

I Can't Stop Laughing

2007-03-31T22:28:00.000-05:00

This is my last post of the month. I cannot stop laughing when I see this. I LOVE THIS SHOW!

Information Superhighway Expropriation

2007-03-15T13:21:00.000-05:00

Being without the internet for over a week forced me to find new ways to entertain myself. It also caused me to go look in my craft room for new crafts. While I do love knitting, I need to spice it up every now and again to keep the creative juices flowing.

I got tagged

2007-03-14T17:20:00.000-05:00

5 THINGS

5 Things in/on my Nightstand-

Clock that plays cds
Sneakers (my bear)
A seatbelt cozie that the dog ate to cover the glare of the clock
A hair thingy

5 things in my closet -
Bicycle pump
Yoga mat
Wedding dress
4 or 5 backpacks
Butterfly wings

5 things in my fridge -
Old soup
Old celery
Old pumpkin puree
Kielbasa
Fake colby jack cheese

5 things in my car –
Styrafoam peanuts
Pennies
Ice scraper
Empty Girl Scout cookie box (NOT MINE!)
Mapquest direction printouts

5things in my purse/wallet/bag -
Mate chai tea bag
Change purse
Pen with squishy gel tip
a book
gloves

I swear I would have done this sooner had I been able to log into my blog. I promise! I couldn't log into anything important and this meme was taunting me for days! I'm tagging anybody who wants to do this. It'll be fun, I promise!

Never Let Me Go

2007-03-13T16:38:00.000-05:00

Link to the book cover

If you haven't read, haven't finished, or plan on reading Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro, I suggest you read no further. This is my synopsis of the book for my Long-Distance Book Club. I want to participate in some way and this is the best way I could think of since I'm in Portland and I always work on Sundays.

Firstly, the theme of relationships is very interesting. Kathy and the rest of the Hailsham students have very confining and defining relationships. They are forced, by their surroundings, to make friends with people who they would not normally be friends with. If they had grown up outside of Hailsham Boarding School maybe they would have chosen differently. In this case, Kathy H. is friends with Ruth and, to me, they don't have many similarities.

They don't seem natural in their actions because they have no one to learn from but themselves. Because they have been brought up in this boarding school, it is ingrained in them that they "can and cannot do" things. They can learn about sex and have sex, but they can't have children. They can follow the rules. They have no other references besides their Guardians to teach them how to act, but they do not provide and unbiased form of behavioral guide for them.

I was a bit surprised by the plot twist half way through the book. All I can think about is how these children are born just so they can donate their internal organs. They don't think it's odd. They don't see it as daunting or bad. They just see that it "is". They basically live for the now. When they do discuss their futures, it's almost half-heartedly. The future is there, but it's completely unforseeable or unattainable. At least, that's the impression I got when I read it. It seems like they can say they will become anything they want to, but ultimately they will become carers and then donars.

People outside of Hailshams have different reactions to the students. For instance, Madame the gallery owner, is afraid of them. Or rather disgusted by them. It's a strange reaction when they were all expecting her to be intimidated instead of repulsed. They think she'll be intimidated because they are so much smarter than she is. Another instance is when they go to live in the Cottage, the other veterans kind of see them as having a higher standing because of their status as Hailsham students. These students from other schools are in awe of them and we can only assume because of the school's reputation as being the best.

Living in The Cottage and outside of Hailshams is another interesting experience. Though Kathy H. and the rest of the students do actually leave Hailshams they never actually take it out of their thoughts. They are all still living in this fantasy world with tons of freedom to go and do whatever they want, but with no way to achieve it. They learn their mannerisms and behaviors by how the other students act. At times it seems like they're grasping at straws when they start acting like television characters. They adopt mannerisms and behaviorisms from some piddly television show. Even after they go visit a town many hours away, they all just little kids in a candy store.

When their teachers speak about their futures, it doesn't make any kind of an impression on the student.. They make their futures seem bright and wonderful without them even knowing otherwise. I think that Kathy and the rest of the students don't really know what they're up against until Miss Emily let's them down. They aren't able to make these kinds of connections until later in life because they've never been taught that they have to. While she and the rest of the Hailsham students are all very smart, they just have no idea what lies ahead. Kathy H., I believe has a little more sense than most of the students. If she would only reach up a little farther she'd see the brass ring is right there for the taking.

There are two movies that really made me think of this form of genetic alteration. Gattaca, though not a recent movie, is a great example of how genetic alteration can have negative effects on people. There is ahigher standard help for people because their bodies are "grown" perfectly, so anything less than that is unacceptable. You're confined by your differences and only allowed to do one thing.

The second movie that I think relates to this book is The Island. Just ignore the German and focus on the images. Unless you can understad German, that is.
I know that you're all thinking it's just fabulous eye-candy for the ladies being able to see Ewan McGregor and all, but there's more to it than that. Humans are basically just "grown" into adults. They are adults, but they don't understand their feelings and thoughts because some greater power has made them supress it. These people have the mental capacity of young teenagers becuase they grow up in an environment that encourages that kind of behavior. While they live in captivity, they do live happy lives and it's not until they go outside of it that they realize they are going to die. Granted, this is the ultimate uprising of "perfect humans" it's also a great example of what happens when you think you can control natural elements. Nature always finds a way to break free and be what it's supposed to be.

These movies really make me think about the meat of the whole book. If we could cloen and (or) genetically alter people for the soul purpose of helping sick people, would we? Would it be morally right? Why don't these students ever questions their surroundings? Why don't they ever think they can actually do something other than being carers and donating? How is that possible for them to never step outside of that world? If they knew they could fight back, would they? Is this cruel to treat other humans like this if they grow up in an environment where there is love and support? If they are taught nothing else, then can it really be wrong?